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The man asked for a way to do this, you people shouldn't be concerned with why he wants to do this. Or the fact that he has a horrible excuse, just tell him what he wants and let him go into his corner.
Nope, sorry...can't do it....cause if he uses it and gets busted, the FEDs take his computer. Then they read the posts on AO and they come knocking on Inetmon's door asking questions. Of course, when they produce a warrant (and they will), AO gives them the info on all the folks that helped him and three guys in really bad suits come knocking on everybody's door at 2am...except me.