Love and hate
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most
romantic first line but least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
but I only slept with you, because I was pi**ed
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and
so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime
These are good lines for a nasty divorce, a breakup, or barroom turn down's. I can also picture this when school kids ask to "go out" with each other.
Maybe you should submit this to American Greetings. I bet it will sell pretty well.
..... Trying not to laugh.
I particularly liked one which wasn't listed which was:
Roses are red, the night is black,
why is your chest as flat as your back?
I also love bar-room turndowns
- Where have you been all my life (and when are you going back?)
- I love your eyes (its a shame they don't match)
- You have hidden depths (like a muddy puddle)
- Thanks but I only date within my species
LMAO still, those are great, gotta use those sometime.
i always thought it was
roses are red, nights are black, why is ur front as flat as ur back
close enough though ;x\
"**** me if im wrong but u wanna **** me" :)
Love is what makes the world go _round_,
but _you_ really need to loose those extra pounds.
Let me whisk you away into this deep blue night,
but not in day - you're a horrible sight.
Just something I came up with...
The smell of your skin makes me a-quiver,
when I'm dumping your corpse in the river.
I'm drunk on love, in massive doses,
But can't you cure your halitosis?
haha. me and my mate always take lines from the simpsons and various other shows/movies and we have a few pickup lines which dont seem to work.
Damn those legs look nice, what time do they open.
roses are red, violets are black. lift up your skirt and i'll lick your crack.
sorry if its a little off taste but they are funny in the moment.
LOL, this is really a great thread....very funny indeed.
Its threads like this that keep the humour forum alive and busy.
Good work englishgirl1 ;)