Bah, I do that all the time! :p ;)
Originally posted here by ¤The¤SpeŠialist
19, try to convince others that you actually know something about computers.
hmmmm. I have a few ideas.
- fall alseep and drool on the table like you did in highschool
- give yourself a wedgie and tell the guy next to you it works better than coffee for waking you up
and of course, we can't forget this one...
- ask the guy lecturing which is better, Windows or Linux :eek:
I suppose that I will have a go:
1. Read a particularly salacious magazine in full view. This really works, and is terribly disruptive, as the fellow delegates are all thinking "how has he got the balls to do that here"......and they cannot take their eyes off the magazine.
2. Read your favourite manual?............mine is "One shot kills at six hundred yards...........the U.S.A.M.C. Manual of Sniping" :eek:
3. Make sure you have the security guys on your side for this one!!!!!!!.............just hand a Cotter Pin on a split ring to the delegate next to you and tell them that they have four and one half seconds to figure out where "the rest of it is" :D
For ordinary internal stuff I generally go for "has anyone considered the tax implications of all this".......that is generally guaranteed to wreck a meeting.
I don't get invited to many meetings........I guess that it must be some sort of racist/ageist/sexist thing?
....and the #1 thing to do at a security conference?
Serve up a webserver on your lappy (with seemingly important infoz on it) and be sure that GOATSE is the only thing on the index page.
This is my personal favorite. You'd be surprised how many dummies who think they're being slick with their Uber toolz suddenly jump back in their seats when they actually open the page. It's like watching them get hit with an invisible hammer.
You only call that #1 because you've had it happen to you ;)
What to do so that the boring speaker lets everyone take a break? Go into the bathroom. Almost all bathrooms at these places have electrical outlets. Gets something like a thick rubber glove, or, use your foot with docs on, and kick a paper clip into the thing. The power should go out for everything in the area unless the electrician didn't cut corners which is not likely.
Then when it's dark, come out of the bathroom and you should be on break while they look for the problem. Oh, if you REALLY want some fun, while it's dark, any laptops the bathroom has are up on the list of grabs. No one is going to chase you out of the bathroom with **** hanging out and their pants down. And if they do, the bathroom doors in these places are great with super glue.
When you get done sell them their laptop ... Most of them at these shows have company data on them, grab a competitor and them, and see who bids the highest. Entertainment man.
And if you're super bored, spike the coffee with LSD. If you're still bored, drink some.
I just KNEW that the BOFMichigan HAD to have a say here :D
Remind me NEVER to take MY laptop with me for a sh1te :eek:
One way to do something like what horse said is to use airpwn. See:
Hmm you could follow my lead from the April 2005 San Fran ISSA CISM gathering and get trashed at the open bar and spend dinner getting a hottie sales director from a leading encryption company and the (far, far less attractive) VP of international security at a leading credit card company drunk as well and trying to talk them into a threesome. Then following that up with... yeah, I am amazed I still get invites to their meetings. ;)