November 6th, 2001 12:38 PM
If Edgar Allen Poe had a Computer
Found this in one of my numerous mailboxz....
Don't know who wrote it, or who sent it to me.. but it made me chuckle.. so here it is just for yewz...
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
Having reached the bottom line,
I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command
But got instead a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore"
Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed the options.
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly, I must now adopt one:
Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore...
With my fingers pale and trembling
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee
Finally I pressed a key --
But on the screen what did I see?
Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
I tried to catch the chips off-guard --
I pressed again, but twice as hard
Luck was just not in the cards.
I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations
Still there came the incantation:
Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore.
There I sat, distraught, exhausted by my own machine accosted
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight:
A bold and blinding flash of light --
A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my core
I saw the screen collapse and die: No No, my database I cried
I thought I heard a voice reply,
"You'll see your data NEVERMORE!"
To this day I do not know
The place to which lost data goes
I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored.
But as for productivity, well
I fear that it goes straight to hell
And that's the tale I have to tell
Your Choice: ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE
November 6th, 2001 02:59 PM
Not me, but Poe was. At least, when he wrote he was. That's why his stories and tales are so great I think. Beeing delirious does make your vivsion on life somewhat more accurate I think; *bizare*
Me likes Poe!
November 6th, 2001 03:40 PM
If Poe had a computer what would it look like? Would it be black with a Raven? Would it be red with a heart.. Would it have a pendulum on it? What do you think..?
November 6th, 2001 04:45 PM
November 16th, 2001 02:33 PM
it\'s all 1001011001 to me!
November 16th, 2001 03:00 PM
\"Software is like sex: it\'s better when it\'s free.\" -Linus Torvalds
November 16th, 2001 04:54 PM
If edgar allen poe had a computer...
Would it look like mine?
November 17th, 2001 02:22 AM
I never got around to replying when this first got posted. Its definitely the best (and only) parody of the raven i've ever seen. Go Poe!