December 7th, 2001, 03:21 PM
One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms shackledover his head,and legs spread open. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bushlooked this in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this.
"The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go"
Have a nice weekend people
December 7th, 2001, 03:40 PM
Thats sick man!! Thanks for the laugh!
December 7th, 2001, 03:41 PM
just sexist one
One guy in the bar asks his friend if he ever does "the other hole" and he replies. -Nah, they can get pregnant that way.
Dear Santa, I liked the mp3 player I got but next christmas I want a SA-7 surface to air missile
December 8th, 2001, 12:27 AM
funny race joke
A white man, a black man, and an asian man are stranded in the desert. The white man comes up with an idea to help them survive.
"I'll go to get food, you go get water (the black man), and you can get supplies (the asian)."
They all go off their separate ways and the black man and the white man return. Both of them are confused as to where the asian is.
Just then the asian hops out from behind a bush.
\"This is our world now...the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud.
We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt cheep if it
wasn\'t run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore...and you call us
criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias...and you
call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, wage wars, murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to
make us believe it is for our own good, yet we\'re the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by
what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something
that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker and this is my manifesto. You may stop this
individual, but you can\'t stop us all...after all, we\'re all alike.\"