As always i post a joke at the start of the week to get the week started on the right foot. A little laugh makes monday more bareable.

in various world religions

TAOISM: **** happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "**** happens".

ZEN: (What is the sound of **** happening?)

JESUITISM: If **** happens and when nobody is watching, is it really ****?

ISLAM: **** happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal **** happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM: **** happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS: **** happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY: **** happens if you're on our **** list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad **** happens, and good **** happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe **** happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this **** happen to someone else.

JUDAISM: Why does **** always happen to US?

REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM: What weird ****!

AGNOSTICISM: What is this ****?

ATHEISM: I don't believe this ****!

NIHILISM: Who needs this ****?

AZTEC: Cut out this ****!

QUAKER: Let's not fight over this ****.


12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the ****.

VOODOO: Hey, that **** looks just like you!

NEWAGE: Visualize **** not happening.

DEISM: **** just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM: **** doesn't happen; **** is.

SECULAR HUMANISM: **** evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: **** is in your mind.

BUDDHISM: **** happens, but pay no mind.

SHINTOISM: **** is everywhere.

HINDUISM: This **** has happened before.

WICCA: Mix this **** together and make it happen!

HASIDISM: **** never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the **** that happens.

DIANETICS: Your mother gave you **** before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No **** on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No **** happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES: Only happy **** really happens.

HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same ****.

STOICISM: This **** is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM: Our **** is good for you.

EST: If my **** bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM: Don't move; the **** will trickle down.

FASCISM: **** makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the **** away.

EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-****.

DISCORDIANISM: Some funny **** happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this ****.