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February 4th, 2002, 04:59 AM
#1
Monday puter humor
As always i post a joke at the start of the week to get the week started on the right foot. A little laugh makes monday more bareable.
**** HAPPENS
in various world religions
TAOISM: **** happens.
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "**** happens".
ZEN: (What is the sound of **** happening?)
JESUITISM: If **** happens and when nobody is watching, is it really ****?
ISLAM: **** happens if it is the will of Allah.
COMMUNISM. Equal **** happens to all people.
CATHOLICISM: **** happens because you are bad.
PSYCHOANALYSIS: **** happens because of your toilet training.
SCIENTOLOGY: **** happens if you're on our **** list.
ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad **** happens, and good **** happens.
UNITARIANISM: Maybe **** happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.
RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this **** happen to someone else.
JUDAISM: Why does **** always happen to US?
REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?
MYSTICISM: What weird ****!
AGNOSTICISM: What is this ****?
ATHEISM: I don't believe this ****!
NIHILISM: Who needs this ****?
AZTEC: Cut out this ****!
QUAKER: Let's not fight over this ****.
FORTEANISM: No ****??
12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the ****.
VOODOO: Hey, that **** looks just like you!
NEWAGE: Visualize **** not happening.
DEISM: **** just happens.
EXISTENTIALISM: **** doesn't happen; **** is.
SECULAR HUMANISM: **** evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: **** is in your mind.
BUDDHISM: **** happens, but pay no mind.
SHINTOISM: **** is everywhere.
HINDUISM: This **** has happened before.
WICCA: Mix this **** together and make it happen!
HASIDISM: **** never happens the same way twice.
THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the **** that happens.
DIANETICS: Your mother gave you **** before your were born.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No **** on Saturdays.
JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No **** happens until Armageddon.
MOONIES: Only happy **** really happens.
HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.
BAHA'I: It's all the same ****.
STOICISM: This **** is good for me.
OBJECTIVISM: Our **** is good for you.
EST: If my **** bothers you, that's your fault.
REAGANISM: Don't move; the **** will trickle down.
FASCISM: **** makes the trains run on time.
CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the **** away.
EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-****.
DISCORDIANISM: Some funny **** happened to me today.
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this ****.
Enjoy!!
[shadow]l3aDmOnKeY[/shadow]
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February 4th, 2002, 05:08 AM
#2
you forgot one:
SATANISM: : shits just gonna happen for eternity! :
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February 4th, 2002, 10:45 AM
#3
Oh know you forgot another one. You got to have this one to keep up with the flow.
TUXISM: tail -f /var/log/messages The abbilty to keep up.
The COOKIE TUX lives!!!!
Windows NT crashed,I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
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February 4th, 2002, 11:12 AM
#4
Alternative Zen : Website not responding, many more available
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February 4th, 2002, 02:17 PM
#5
great.....**** **** everywhere.....
A laptop, internet connection and beer.
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