February 14th, 2002, 11:11 AM
Top Eight Morons of 2001
recieved by email so no credit for the source.
1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing 10 tear
gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them
in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein
the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. A man walked into a Topeka, Kan., Kwik Stop, and asked for all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied
up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
police showed up and grabbed him.
5. Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man
in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll
shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. In Modesto, Calif., Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to
hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and
a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his
hand in his pocket.
8. During the early summer of 1995, on Lake Mousam, located in Maine, an
hour northeast of Portsmouth, some folks, new to boating, were having a
problem. No matter how hard they tried; they couldn't get their brand
new 22-foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to
make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could
tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything
in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up
and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. Finally, one of
the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up
choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still
strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
February 14th, 2002, 01:01 PM
hee hee .... nice shots man ...
When the power of Love overcomes the Love of power, the world will know peace... Jimi Hendrix
I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask...... what was war?
February 14th, 2002, 01:37 PM
Hehe good stuff!
February 14th, 2002, 01:55 PM
February 14th, 2002, 02:10 PM
February 14th, 2002, 04:11 PM
Funny.... #6 could been me when my first kid was born.
February 14th, 2002, 04:16 PM
rofl that was some good stuff keep it up!
February 14th, 2002, 04:46 PM
Can I be number 9? Or maybe my boss.
If you wonder why I say that, ask around in irc.antionline.com. They know the story.
\"Ignorance is bliss....
but only for your enemy\"
February 14th, 2002, 07:30 PM
I've heard the one about the robber working the till before.. that's hilarious!
Pierce me with steel, rend me with claw and fang; as I die, a legend is born for another generation to follow.
An\' it harm none, do as ye will. - Wiccan Rede
February 14th, 2002, 07:54 PM