Eh, don't worry, this isn't some script kiddy "confessing" to all he's done.
I started thinking about the "My name is joe, and I am canadian", so I decided to make a hacker version of it...probably been done before.
I'm not a sociopath, or a criminal. I don't deal drugs, sell porn, or steal identities.
I don't know hotgirl_2001_18889432, or coolguy_2001_98319354 although I'm sure they're very nice.
I have a dial-up account, not "The internet".
My computer hangs or freezes, it doesn't "crash".
I can proudly display Tux on just about everything.
I belive in anonymity, not disclosure; in fixing problems, not creating them.
And that the penguin is a truly proud and noble animal.
A hard drive is the disk inside your computer, and a computer is the box.
And it's pronounced Linux. OK? Not LINE-X, Linux!
Hackers are least known, most knowledgable people around, and the best part of the internet.
You don't know my name, because I am a hacker!
If you don't know about the "I am Canadian" rant, I'll post it here:
"I'm not a lumberjack or a fur trader. I don't live in an igloo, eat blubber or own a dogsled.
"I don't know Jimmy, Suzie or Sally from Canada, although I'm certain they're very nice.
"I have a prime minister, not a president.
"I speak English and French, not American.
"And I pronounce it 'about,' not 'a-boot.'
"I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
"I believe in peacekeeping, not policing; diversity, not assimilation.
"And that the beaver is a proud and noble animal.
"A tuque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch.
"And it's pronounced zed. OK? Not zee. Zed.
"Canada is the second-largest land mass, the first nation of hockey and the best part of North America.
"My name is Joe, and I am Canadian."