some computer related humor

windoze "smart" file extensions

In order to reduce the amount of confusion that end users might have in identifying the role of certain files that they have on their hard drives, Windows now incorporates "smart" file extensions to aid end users in support and troubleshooting issues. Please consult this reference guide before calling Microsoft or any authorized Microsoft Support Services vendor.

.god - Files developed by microsoft
.crap - 3rd party files
.porn - Adult image files on an umarried males computer
.bible - Adult image files on a married males computer
.easyaccess - Undocumented security flaws in Explorer, Outlook, and IIS
.forsakendreams - Unfinished novels and short stories
.lewinsky - Letters to your mistress
.jackson - Information files on your illegitimate children
.bush - New compression format that give you 1.6 Trillion times more disk space but may increase the amount of arsenic and CO that your computer produces
.china - Files that will hold 24 other files hostage if any attempts are made to reference the operating system.
.greenspan - New products that attempt to prevent overuse of the computer by dynamically adjusting the amount of memory your computer has available (adjusted quarterly).

mouse balls are fru's

Mouse balls are now available as a FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his ball should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items."