Thursday funnies
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Thread: Thursday funnies

  1. #1
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    Thursday funnies

    Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not
    come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach
    ache and my legs hurt. not come work."

    The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you
    today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to
    give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work.
    You should try that."

    Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what
    you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got
    nice house."



    A dad walks into a market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is
    spinning a quarter in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they
    walk through the market, someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong
    moment. The coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat.
    He immediately starts choking, going blue in the face and dad starts
    panicking, shouting for help.
    A well-dressed middle-aged, moderately attractive but serious woman in a
    blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market, reading her
    newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she
    looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds her
    newspaper and places it on the counter. She then gets up from her seat
    and makes her unhurried way across the market.

    Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles
    and squeezes gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few
    seconds, the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the
    woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, the woman hands
    the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar
    without saying a word.

    As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill- effects,
    the father rushes over to the woman and starts effusively thanking her
    saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before - it was
    fantastic! Are you a doctor?"

    "Good heavens, no," the woman replies. "I'm a divorce attorney."



    And see the attached pic. It's absolutely beautiful.
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  2. #2
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    The jokes were funny but the highlight of this post was the picture...truly beautiful...
    Rob \"BoNeZ\"

  3. #3
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    Yeah. I should've given the picture it's own thread, just to share it.
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  4. #4
    BS, EnCE, ACE, Cellebrite 11001001's Avatar
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    What more can one say than "wow"
    That's Officer 11001001 to you...
    Now you see me | Now you don't
    "Relax, Bender; It was just a dream. There's no such thing as two." ~ Fry
    sometimes my computer goes down on me

  5. #5
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    Heh, I live in New York, and you havnt seen anything until you see it in person... It is marvelous! Good jokes

  6. #6
    BS, EnCE, ACE, Cellebrite 11001001's Avatar
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    Hey, ac1d, is it permanent or temporary?
    If it's temporary, how long will it be up and on?
    That's Officer 11001001 to you...
    Now you see me | Now you don't
    "Relax, Bender; It was just a dream. There's no such thing as two." ~ Fry
    sometimes my computer goes down on me

  7. #7
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    I LIKE IT A LOT
    LATER-
    __________________________
    Computers make sense people
    DON\'T.

  8. #8
    Priapistic Monk KorpDeath's Avatar
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    [QUOTE] Originally posted here by 11001001
    Hey, ac1d, is it permanent or temporary?
    If it's temporary, how long will it be up and on?
    [/QUOTE

    It's temporary, I think it'll be on for one month. they started it on the 6 month anniversary.
    Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
    - Samuel Johnson

  9. #9
    Woah thats some weird **** bro. I seem to remember something similar to that quarter story man. lol WHAT THE **** AM I TALKING ABOUT?

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