Things not to hear from the system admin.
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Thread: Things not to hear from the system admin.

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002

    Talking Things not to hear from the system admin.

    What the hell!?
    Go get your backup tape. (You do have a backup tape?)
    That's SOOOOO bizarre.
    Wow!! Look at this.....
    Hey!! The suns don't do this.
    What software license?
    Well, it's doing something.....
    Wow....that seemed fast.....
    I got a better job at Lockheed...
    Management says...
    Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgetted.
    What do you mean that wasn't a copy?
    It didn't do that a minute ago...
    Where's the GUI on this thing?
    Damn, and I just bought that pop...
    Where's the DIR command?
    The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
    I cleaned up the root partition and now there's lots of free space.
    What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?
    Do you smell something?
    What's that grinding sound?
    I have never seen it do *that* before...
    I think it should not be doing that...
    I remember the last time I saw it do that...
    You might as well all go home early today ...
    My leave starts tomorrow.
    Hmm, maybe if I do this...
    "Why is my "rm *.o" taking so long?"
    Hmmm, curious...
    Well, my files were backed up.
    What do you mean you needed that directory?
    What do you mean /home was on that disk? I umounted it!
    Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
    Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.
    I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.
    Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?
    We're standardizing on AIX.
    Wonder what this command does?
    What did you say your (l)user name was...? ;-)
    You did what to the floppy???
    Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
    NO! Not that button!
    Uh huh......"nu -k $USER".. no problem....sure thing...
    Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
    [looks at workstation] "Say, what version of DOS is this running?"
    Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
    YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!
    What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
    What's this switch for anyways...?
    Tell me again what that '-r' option to rm does
    Say, What does "Superblock Error" mean, anyhow?
    If I knew it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
    Was that your directory?
    System coming down in 0 min....
    The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
    Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?
    OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).
    The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?
    It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours. (This is said on a monday afternoon.)
    I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip with out triping the breaker.
    What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?
    I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.
    Ummm... Didn't you say you turned it off?
    The network's down, but we're working on it. Come back after diner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline...)
    Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!
    Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.
    I hate it when that happens.
    And what does it mean 'rm: .o: No such file or directory'?
    Why did it say '/bin/rm: not found'?
    Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?
    You can do this patch with the system up...
    What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?
    The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???
    Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk....
    What do mean by "fired"?
    hey, what does mkfs do?
    where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
    ...and if we just swap these two disc controllers like this...
    don't do that, it'll crash the sys........ ****
    what's this hash prompt on my terminal mean?
    dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix
    find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {};
    now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either
    Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750
    Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4
    SMIT makes it all so much easier......
    Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?
    I don't care what he says, I'm not having it on my network
    We don't support that. We won't support that.
    ...and after I patched the microcode...
    You've got TECO. What more do you want?
    We prefer not to change the root password, it's an nice easy one
    Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...
    The COOKIE TUX lives!!!!
    Windows NT crashed,I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    LoL Seems like it's joke day well what can I say but keep em coming!

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    My personal favourites involve deities... for instance:
    Oh lord...
    Jesus and Allah!
    Oh please, God, please...

    If you hear any of those from your admin, you know you're in trouble
    Also "He did what?" (hehehe)


    Pierce me with steel, rend me with claw and fang; as I die, a legend is born for another generation to follow.
    An\' it harm none, do as ye will. - Wiccan Rede

  4. #4
    Senior Member cwk9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    -My friend got me this job
    -Marketing is always right
    -Coax bus networks are the sh*t
    -I can save $3000 if I make the network backbone out of the old arc net stuff in the back room.
    -So I ran coax through the vents big deal. (Note: coax releases toxic gas when it melts.)
    -Lets get Macs because they look cool
    -whats a firewall
    -but I just updated the virus scan like 4months ago
    Its not software piracy. Im just making multiple off site backups.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    You missed some:

    Horray for Windows!

    This UNIX is too hard. I wanna switch a Windows platform!

    What's this 'UNIX'?

    My computer performed an illegal operation! Call the police!

    Bill Gates is my hero!

    Uh huh..... Yea.... I'll make a deal with you...

    Hey! The primary domain controller's putting on a fireworks show!

    Whaddya mean we don't have AOL!? EVERYBODY has AOL!

    I'll teach that <insert your name here> who's boss!

    I'm going home. The server has a virus and I don't want to catch it.

    Nah... We don't need security updates.

    .....Now type in 'del *.dll'

    HAHAHA! Look at THIS guy's mailbox!

    Trust me.

  6. #6
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    LMAO, my admin has said alot of that stff...but usualy he just down a pot of Coffee, and sits really still while he turns red....
    - Noia
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag D landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjrleik elske med.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Or, how about -
    Relax, this worked last week at the other branch
    Don't worry, I tried this before
    It's ok - It'll work
    say, did you remember to .....
    Now where are the instructions again?
    It must be them again. Start the response cycle.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Linux, whats that
    Its ok, i just have to move this wire around a bit
    Oh crap, not this again
    Get the Windows CD's

  9. #9
    some more:

    WHAT THE *****!?!?!
    oh NO!!! Not a COMPAQ (I own and admin 2 of these pieces of trash)
    BLUE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!
    Why won't the NIC Driver install...

  10. #10

    Missed one

    Here's a one you missed:

    Wow, That JP is one smart cookie ;-)

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