the Funnies strike back.
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  1. #1
    IT Specialist Ghost_25inf's Avatar
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    Talking the Funnies strike back.

    > > > > > An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home
    >from
    > > > the
    > > > > > city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over
    > > the
    > > > > > road.
    > > > > > A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have
    > > ya
    > > > > > been?"
    > > > > > "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
    > > > > > "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to
    >drink
    > > > this
    > > > > > evening."
    > > > > > "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
    > > > > > "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his
    >arms
    > > > > > across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out
    > > of
    > > > > > your car?"
    > > > > > "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I
    >thought
    > > > I'd
    > > > > > gone deaf."
    > > > > >
    > > > > > ===============================================
    > > > > > Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan
    > > > > > arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've
    > > somethin'to
    > > > > > tell ya."
    > > > > > "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's
    > > my
    > > > > > husband?"
    > > > > > "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an
    >accident
    > > > > > down at the Guinness brewery..."
    > > > > > "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me.."
    > > > > > "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
    > > > > > Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
    > > > > > "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and
    > > > > > drowned."
    > > > > > "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim.
    > > > > > Did he at least go quickly?"
    > > > > > "Well, no Brenda... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
    > > > > >
    > > > > > ==================================================
    > > > > > Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning
    > > service,
    > > > > > and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my
    >dear?"
    > > > > > She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed
    >away
    > > > > > last night."
    > > > > > The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he
    > > have
    > > > > > any last requests?"
    > > > > > She say! s, "That he did, Father..
    > > > > > " The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?
    > > > > > " She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'
    > > > > >
    > > > > > ====================================================
    > > > > > A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional
    >booth,
    > > > > > sits down but says nothing.
    > > > > > The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk
    >just
    > > > > > sits there.
    > > > > > Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
    > > > > > The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this
    > > side
    > > > > > either".
    S25vd2xlZGdlIGlzIHBvd2VyIQ

  2. #2
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    ROFL, I like the last one 'ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either'... Hehe

  3. #3
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    Hmmm, I liked the one where he got out to pee three times...lol!
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  4. #4
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    Are you signed up for and Irish newsletter, a Catholic newsletter, or both? P.S. lol@the "got out three times to pee" bit.
    \"Welcome to the real world...it sucks. Your gunna love it.\'\"

  5. #5
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    LOL at all. esp the knockin one

  6. #6
    Junior Member
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    Talking SELF ESTEEM

    Self Esteem

    A teacher was trying to make use of her self-esteem courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

    After a few seconds, a child stood up.

    The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, young man?"

    "Oh I don't think I'm stupid. I just hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
    ketan

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    hey good humour friends.. it was nice.. laughing for sometime.. thanks a lot..

    intruder
    A laptop, internet connection and beer.

  8. #8
    Token drunken Irish guy
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    Hmmm....


  9. #9
    BS, EnCE, ACE, Cellebrite 11001001's Avatar
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    All I have to say is that I'd hate to be the next confessor...
    That's Officer 11001001 to you...
    Now you see me | Now you don't
    "Relax, Bender; It was just a dream. There's no such thing as two." ~ Fry
    sometimes my computer goes down on me

  10. #10
    Member
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    Thanks for the Friday humor...
    A squirrel with no nuts will soon starve.

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