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Thread: Employee Training

  1. #1

    Post Employee Training

    Employee Training

    In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.

    If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

    Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).

    Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T already.

    If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic
    Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)

    If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)

    Thank you,

    Boss in General
    (B.I.G S.H.I.T)



  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Very nice

    God bless,
    I know you\'re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you\'re afraid. You\'re afraid of us. You\'re afraid of change. I don\'t know the future. I didn\'t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it\'s going to begin. I\'m going to hang up this phone, and then I\'m going to show these people what you don\'t want them to see. I\'m going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

  3. #3
    LOL Thats pretty funny!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    lol I want to be in the S.H.I.T. program, I already have some background in dealing with S.H.I.T.
    Search First Ask Second.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Witty....... Sounds like my company and my manager does give the employees lots of S.H.I.T daily.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    This has already been posted...
    Elen alcarin ar gwath halla ná engwar.

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    It's pretty funny, but like thesecretfire said, its already been posted.

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