More Nerd Humor :)
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Thread: More Nerd Humor :)

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    More Nerd Humor :)

    Greetz all.
    Ran across another joke in my PC Roadkill book. Not quite as great as the Frog and Programmer one, but here goes anyway:

    Executive Wisdom
    After a mixed year, the vice president of the products division left for a different company. He appointed his most senior manager to take his place and said, "Bob, things at the company are tight. You may run into a few roadblocks. But I want you to succeed. So I've prepared three envelopes with tips I've learned through the years. Open them in dire straits."

    Bob was thrilled. He was now a vice president. He got a big office and could afford a fancy new car. And things were wonderful. At least for a few months. The sales started dropping. The company president put a lot of pressure on Bob and employees were restless. So Bob opened the first envelope. "Blame the previous management -- after all, it is long gone," it said. The next day Bob called an emergency, all-hands meeting. "Do not worry about our troubles," Bob said. I've discovered some accounting irregularities with the previous management. But fortunately, Jim is gone. We're going to get the situation under control. It will be a bit rough adjusting from the horrible state Jim put us in, but we'll pull through."

    The president eased up. Everyone felt good. But the troubles persisted. Two monthes later, Bob opened the second envelope. "Blame the organization," it said. So Bob called another meeting, said the organization no longer met the changing needs of the company, and announced an immediate reshuffling of staff. The business units would be broken up. Functional units would be formed. Matrix management would keep the groups focused, but in synch.

    A few months later, sales were still plummeting. Customers were loosing faith. Key employees were starting to loiter around the fax machines in the early morning. Bob opened the last envelope. It said: "Prepare three envelopes..."

    Enjoy, and God bless,
    --PhirePhreak
    I know you\'re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you\'re afraid. You\'re afraid of us. You\'re afraid of change. I don\'t know the future. I didn\'t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it\'s going to begin. I\'m going to hang up this phone, and then I\'m going to show these people what you don\'t want them to see. I\'m going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

  2. #2
    BS, EnCE, ACE, Cellebrite 11001001's Avatar
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    The sad thing is that we all know at least one company that functions like this...
    That's Officer 11001001 to you...
    Now you see me | Now you don't
    "Relax, Bender; It was just a dream. There's no such thing as two." ~ Fry
    sometimes my computer goes down on me

  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Too true. Too true...
    I know you\'re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you\'re afraid. You\'re afraid of us. You\'re afraid of change. I don\'t know the future. I didn\'t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it\'s going to begin. I\'m going to hang up this phone, and then I\'m going to show these people what you don\'t want them to see. I\'m going to show them a world without you, a world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

  4. #4
    AntiOnline Senior Member souleman's Avatar
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    I wish my company functioned that well.

    All I get to blame is microsoft.
    \"Ignorance is bliss....
    but only for your enemy\"
    -- souleman

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