english grammar rules

[sumdumguy]

Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...


Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

[titanmike]

By Totius ! now that is hilarious.
My first reaction was HUH?????

[rcgreen]

...and eschew obfuscation.

[RaDIaToR52]

Hmm.. I am sure if my english teacher read that.. he would be sure it was I who posted....

[ac1dsp3ctrum]

wHy Yuu gUtTah MaKE Fun O mAH LanGUAGEE?

[Dome]

Grammer is not necissary on the internet

What grammer????

[MrLinus]

Originally posted here by Dome
Grammer is not necissary on the internet

What grammer????

BWAHAHAHA. Ya. sure. The joke posted by sumdumguy was funny but it is appalling how bad our language is on the Internet. And based on some exams I'm marking, it is evidentally making it's way beyond the Internet. This may be trully the first drastic change to the English language as we know it.

I wonder what English language historians and linguists think of all this.

[11001001]

Originally posted here by sumdumguy
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

This reminds me of something that happened in my troop while at scout camp:

(*Names Changed to Protect the Insolent*)

Scout: Mr. Jones? Where are we at?

Troop Leader Jones: Johnny, you don't end a sentence in a preposition.

Scout: Okay. Mr. Jones? Where are we at @$$hole?

The rest of the trip sucked.

[KorpDeath]

Originally posted here by MsMittens


BWAHAHAHA. Ya. sure. The joke posted by sumdumguy was funny but it is appalling how bad our language is on the Internet. And based on some exams I'm marking, it is evidentally making it's way beyond the Internet. This may be trully the first drastic change to the English language as we know it.

I wonder what English language historians and linguists think of all this.

I think the whole through (thru) was the beginning. It's makes me sick to read a corporate memo that has the word thru in it. Just laughable.

Ugh!