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Thread: Computer Humor

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2001

    Computer Humor

    10 - When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
    9 - You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
    8 - Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends email.
    7 - You're amazed to find out spam is a food.
    6 - You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.
    5 - You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
    4 - You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications".
    3 - At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".
    2 - After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parentheses!"

    ..And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:

    1 - Two Words: "Pizza's Here!".

    Top 10 signs that your son is a hacker

    1. Your phone bill lists 1,987 household lines.
    2. Your son tells you that his private interview with the Secret Service agent was for a social studies class essay.
    3. You receive mail addressed to Phil E. Phreak.
    4. The kid cheers Lex Luthor whenever a Superman movie runs on TV.
    5. The CEO of a regional Bell operating company appears on your doorstep, sobbing uncontrollably and begging forgiveness.
    6. You find a copy of Phrack magazine hidden under the underwear in your son's bedroom dresser. (The Playboy magazine is next to the handheld scanner, of course.)
    7. The kid asks for a Novell Access Server for his birthday.
    8. The little silver-colored wheel on your electric meter spins so fast it flies off, slices your neighbor's elm tree neatly in two and flattens a tire on a Chevy Monte Carlo three blocks away.
    9. Your son's English teacher calls, sounding really curious, to ask why the kid selected the Oklahoma City phone directory for his monthly book report.
    10. He names Robert Morris Jr. as his "Most Admired American."

    Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
    A: A mad scientist.

    Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
    A: Warning label.

    Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
    A: Successive approximations.

    Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to:

    On a Pentium, all of the above
    A: Number 4.

    Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
    A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

    Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
    A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

  2. #2
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    ROTFLMAO I should add some of these to the bot.. :P
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    lol... love the ones about Intel... excelent post
    \"Software is like sex: it\'s better when it\'s free.\" -Linus Torvalds

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