something bothering me
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Thread: something bothering me

  1. #1
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    something bothering me

    Ever since I read my new signature (see below), I've been listening to other people's conversations. You know what I found? Clarisse was right when she said that-in general, we our conversations don't have any real substance! We don't say anything important. For example, yesterday, my grandparents came over to our house to have supper with me, my mother, and her boyfriend. I sat and listened to them. I said hardly anything, just listening, and like Clarisse said, we don't say anything important. One thing they talked about was they talked of a road being repaved and spent I figure about 5 minutes on that alone! gotta go...
    “People don’t talk about anything.” [Clarisse]
    “Oh, they must!” [Guy]
    “No, not anything. They name a lot of cars or clothes or swimming pools mostly and say how swell! But they all say the same things and nobody says anything different from anyone else. And most of the time in the cafes they have the joke-boxes on and the same jokes most of the time, or the musical wall lit and all the colored patterns running up and down, but it’s only color and all abstract. And at the museums, have you ever been? All abstract. That\'s all there is now...\"
    -A conversation with Clarrise McClellan and Guy Montag from Fahrenheit 451

  2. #2
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    normal chit chat is hardly ever worth listening to... and I agree with u that often when family is gathered the conversations are bad. But do u think when u talk with a friend or a collegue that the conversation is bad? I don't think u do... when u talk to some1 how has the same interest(s) as u then u might be able to start good discussion, hear some news, or learn new things... Family chit chat, is just, ehm, chit chat hehe
    but I still mainly agree with u.. we talk to much.. we simply talk because we are bored and that has to make most conversations meaningless.
    zion1459
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    \"Software is like sex: it\'s better when it\'s free.\" -Linus Torvalds

  3. #3
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    About half a month ago, I read a book called tuesdays with Morrie, which was basically about a professor named Morrie Schwartz who contracts Lou Gerig's disease. In it, Morrie does a little experiment at the beginning of one of his classes (he taught psycology). He entered his class, unpacked his brief case, and sat down in his seat. He didn't say anything, and no one said anything to him, so he just sat there for 15 minutes, just sitting and looking at each other. Then Morrie finally said "What is happening here?" His experiment was to get his students to realise that we are uncomfortable in silence. What exactly is it about silence that makes us uncomfortable? Do we feel that we MUST be either talking or doing something at ALL times? Even if the conversation has no real point to it? I think that generally and unfortunately, the answer is yes. Society today makes us feel uncomfortable around others when we have nothing to say or do.
    “People don’t talk about anything.” [Clarisse]
    “Oh, they must!” [Guy]
    “No, not anything. They name a lot of cars or clothes or swimming pools mostly and say how swell! But they all say the same things and nobody says anything different from anyone else. And most of the time in the cafes they have the joke-boxes on and the same jokes most of the time, or the musical wall lit and all the colored patterns running up and down, but it’s only color and all abstract. And at the museums, have you ever been? All abstract. That\'s all there is now...\"
    -A conversation with Clarrise McClellan and Guy Montag from Fahrenheit 451

  4. #4
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    Morrie Schwartz is probably right... but personaly I don't dislike silence... I kinda like being able to fall half asleep (or to sit still listening) without having to talk or without having ppl talking to me (but an embarrassing silence is of course different)... some ppl actually find me rude because I often just sit and listen and don't say anything. It probably is rude but why should I say anything when their "lame" conversations are so amusing?
    I often use public transport and it's quite amazing how much u can a learn about a person without ever knowing or talking to him/her... Especially when they use their mobile phones.. they chit chat about family, friends, work, everything! before they know it they've told every1 near by their girlsfriends name, their phonenumber, street address, brothers birthday date, etc... the real funny part is if u get their name (this is hard if they talk on the phone since u can't the one in the other end ) and other info and then go over to them and greet them using that name and start talking about some of the stuff they just told on the phone... some times they get REALLY confused... (I've only tried this a couple of times and only on ppl I thought would find it funny)... at first they just looked strange at me, and then they began to worry... but when I told them what they had done wrong and how I got the info they found it to be very funny. The most insane thing I've ever seen/heard was a banker who got on a bus while talking to a client!!! can u imagine the delicate info he could have leaked?

    well, I got a little sidetracked there... but what I'm trying to say is that ppl simply will talk about ANYTHING to keep the conversation going... not like on this forum where most posts are made in order to solve a problem and come to a conclusion... chit chat is a disease... a good example is a girl i know... she just HAD to talk with her friends all the time... she got a phonebill on more than $600!! (well, actually her parents got it... she used their phone, lol )
    but what can we do to solve this problem? or is it even a problem?
    it might annoy us when we hear others do it but WE ALL do it and it doesn't irritate us while we're doing it...
    zion1459
    Visit: http://www.cpc-net.org
    \"Software is like sex: it\'s better when it\'s free.\" -Linus Torvalds

  5. #5
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    I think sometimes we use chit-chat and other forms of constant noise and activity to cover up our own inner anxiety, loneliness and lack of meaning and joy in our lives. Our world has given us myriad ways of deadening ourselves to our inner spiritual hunger for God. You can watch TV, listen to music almost anywhere (even in the shower) and talk on the cell phone constantly. I think silence makes us uncomfortable because it gives us time to think about the inner anxiety and lack of meaning I mentioned earlier. Noise and activity can become a form of anesthetic that deaden us to our inner spiritual longings.
    For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
    (Romans 6:23, WEB)

  6. #6
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    I have to respectfully disagree with you on this subject. I think that the meaningless chit chat we engage in with our families/spouses/close friends brings us closer. You talk to these people about the things that are the very most important to you, and the silly little inconsequentials of everyday life. I think that talking is part of what makes humans humans. No other species on earth has the ability to carry on conversations, and I think that the need to talk to others is just natural. I don't think it has anything to do with spiritual hunger (no offense preacherman), and I don't think it's a problem either zion. I think it's just a sign of humans being human. We reach out and interact with each other, and I think it has more to do with compassion, empathy, and friendship than discomfort. I disagree that these are unimportant conversations, because it's the comfort of being able to discuss silly things that leads us to be able to talk about the important things when they come up. My husband and I engage in some of the silliest, most absurd conversations you've ever heard. But when something comes down the pike that floors one of us, we instantly turn to one another for comfort. Same with my parents, and sister. I admit that I am very fortunate to have such a strong support system within my family, but I don't think it matters who it is, as long as you have someone to engage in silly conversations with, you will also have someone to turn to in your times of need.

    Deb

    P.S. Of course I can also talk the ears off the cashier at the grocery store, too....Talking is a very important part of my life....lol
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  7. #7
    Flash M0nkey
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    ..........

  8. #8
    Flash M0nkey
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    now did anyone feel uncomfortable in ^ that ^ brief silence ?

    v_Ln

  9. #9
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    valhallen: lol

    debwalin:
    I also admittet that we all do it and I believe that ur right about the important emotional thing there is about talk. But ok, let's say then that some chit chat is good.
    what about the always ranting persons? u know, the ones always bitching about everything... u see them all the time.. e.g. two women on a bus bitching about everything and everyone... that has to do with the world we live in...
    well anyways... this topic is to complex for a non shrink like me... some1 bring a shrink in here! my conclusion is... I guess.. that each person has his/her own reason for chatting mindlessly but one thing is for sure... we all do it, and we need to do it to be happy (or for some other reason, but happy would probably be a logical one)...
    peace!
    zion1459
    Visit: http://www.cpc-net.org
    \"Software is like sex: it\'s better when it\'s free.\" -Linus Torvalds

  10. #10
    AO Soccer Mom debwalin's Avatar
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    Zion...I never said some people shouldn't just shut up for the good of the world...and I resent that you said two women, cause in my opinion, men complain just as much! Lol, I'm just giving you a hard time....But it depends on your perspective, and your personality as much as anything. I am a positive person, and I try not to spend too much of my time complaining, but I guess that's what some people do to fulfill their emotional needs or something.

    And I like to talk .....and talk.....and talk......and talk.....guess that's why I stay in IRC so much...lol!


    Deb
    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

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