101 things you dont need to know
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  1. #1
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    101 things you dont need to know

    This post can be found here-> http://www.angelfire.com/va/randomly...101things.html *always giving credit where it is due*

    101 Things We Learned In School That We Never REALLY Need To Know...

    1. Pre-algebra

    2. Predicates

    3. How to touch-type the “function” keys on our eMates

    4. How to spell "International”

    5. What the chemical make-up of oranges is

    6. Just how rubbery school food can get

    7. How much homework it takes to break your back

    8. What the true meaning of “annoying classmates and teachers” is

    9. How many people and 3,000 pound backpacks can fit on a bus before it explodes

    10. Just how long it takes to collapse in gym class (5min)

    11. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    12. Just what an expochoreographer is

    13. How to spell expochoreographer

    14. Just how many pointless things we can fit in our heads before they explode

    15. How much we can annoy the teacher before she explodes

    16. How much trivial nonsense there really is in the universe

    17. Just how boring lectures can get

    18. Learning to live with scumbags that don’t flush the toilet

    19. How to punch people who remember childhood with nostalgia

    20. What the most inhumane torture on Earth is (school food)

    21. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    22. How to listen to the Teacher make the same point 300 times in a 300-page essay

    23. How to turn in a 1,000 page report on cheese

    24. How to memorize all of the gods and goddesses of ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, Greece, and Rome

    25. Just how much teachers hate it when you turn in a story about Marvin the invincible Crime-Fighting Mouse in place of your book report

    26. What 8w+45tk-123456789=65•5t is

    27. How to go over the same packet 25 times

    28. What the true meaning of “boredom” is

    29. How to write an annoying letter home to our family telling them everything we’ve already told them anyway

    30. Why boys are idiots

    31. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    32. How homework can destroy your social life

    33. How to learn what a typographical error is (a typo, though why the teacher can’t just say “typo” is beyond me)

    34. What an idiot Hannibal was (I mean, he took elephants over the Alps. How stupid is that?)

    35. How to watch the teacher drink 5 cups of coffee a day, unfiltered

    36. How to eat the sugar that we’re supposed to look at under the microscope

    37. How to tell the teacher that we didn’t eat the sugar we’re supposed to look at under the microscope

    38. How to annoy our fellow students (rubber snakes in the bathroom is a good way to start)

    39. How to put up with people who should be buried alive on Mars

    40. How to barf in music class

    41. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    42. How to make spitballs and paper airplanes

    43. How to aim the spitballs and paper airplanes

    44. How to lie

    45. How to blame throwing spitballs and paper airplanes on someone else

    46. How to play with static electricity

    47. How to bring Beanie Babies into school without letting the teacher know

    48. How to hide comic books in big thick novels so it looks like you’re reading something complicated, when you’re really watching Captain America pulverize the Evil Roachman

    49. How to win at Trivial Pursuit because you know all of the useless facts

    50. How to identify with Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes)

    51. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    52. How to tell your parents that the “F” stands for “Fantastic”

    53. How to tell your parents that maybe school is too stressful, and that you don’t need to go, maybe you could stay in the video arcade all day

    54. How to give your teacher “Bambi Eyes” when you tell her that you didn’t do your homework

    55. How to fake being sick

    56. How to annoy your Language Arts teacher by talkin’ like this were a real borin’ class. Ain’t ya gonna wanna doncha hafta go to da bathroom?

    57. What the Endoplasmic Reticulum is (who cares?)

    58. How to compare Spiral Galaxies to barf

    59. How to “accidentally” lose someone else’s stylus

    60. How to annoy people by singing “Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer” (from CATS)

    61. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    62. How to watch the teacher screw up when she tries to make the video disk play

    63. How much stuff you can put on an eMate before it explodes

    64. How to mispel

    65. How to watch the fish in the indoor river system get pulverized by the crabs

    66. How to laugh at the fish in the indoor river system

    67. How to watch the fish in the indoor river system get back at the crabs

    68. How to stick cafeteria food to the ceiling

    69. How to chew on borrowed pencils

    70. How the Earth was formed (Who cares? It’s here, I’m living on it, that’s all that matters!)

    71. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    72. How to talk your teacher into letting you take your pet hamster to school

    73. How to play the clarinet (most everyone will learn)

    74. The different pointless things we are taught in school the will never help us in life

    75. How to write lists of the pointless things we are taught in school that will never help us in life

    76. That even spam and lard is better than cafeteria food

    77. How to do all of your homework on Monday at 1:00 in the morning

    78. That if you buy an eMate charger, a lot of people will suddenly become your best friends

    79. That is you have candy, a lot of people will suddenly become your best friends

    80. How to know that every 10 lines the teacher will repeat something

    81. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    82. How much you have to pay to get a Mott’s Blue’s Clues sticker from a friend

    83. That if you have fudge, a lot of people will suddenly become your best friends

    84. How to find out what on Earth is in a cell (who cares, anyway?)

    85. How annoying it is when your ruler isn’t straight and you draw bumpy lines during math class

    86. How to annoy your math teacher by saying “1+1=11”

    87. How much your math teacher hates it when you write down the answers to the homework when the whole class is checking it

    88. Why you should always miss recess on cold, cloudy days

    89. How much fun it is to type nonsense

    90. How to complete pointless boring assignments on time

    91. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything

    92. How to annoy your English teacher by making up your own language and writing in it all of the time

    93. How to announce that your language has no punctuation

    94. How to sing the song that goes, “My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school, We have tortured every teacher, We have broken every rule, We barbecued the principal, destroyed the PTA, Us kids go marching on, Glory, glory, Hallelujah, Teacher hit me with a ruler, so I hid behind the door with me trusty flame-thrower, and there ain’t no school no more!”

    95. How to get the teacher to let you watch “Looney Tunes” is class because it’s “educational”

    96. Why you should tell the teacher that “your evil twin” put the tack on her chair, not you

    97. How to tell someone that your “invisible friend” kicked them in the rear, not you

    98. How to smile evilly when a bully asks you for your lunch money, then say it’s on your lunch card

    99. How to stomp on the bully’s foot

    100. How to play in the mud at recess and really annoy your teacher when you come in with muddy shoes

    101. How to listen to the Teacher repeat everything


    Just thought this was cute and i accidently stumbled apon it
    [shadow]i have a herd of 1337 sheep[/shadow]
    Worth should be judged on quality... Not apperance... Anyone can sell you **** inside a pretty box.. The only real gift then is the box..

  2. #2
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    Oh did you catch the running gag in the jokes?

    if you look, #11,21,31,41,51,61,71,81,91,101 are all the same, then read #80 and u should get the running gag

    -NetSyN-
    [shadow]i have a herd of 1337 sheep[/shadow]
    Worth should be judged on quality... Not apperance... Anyone can sell you **** inside a pretty box.. The only real gift then is the box..

  3. #3
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    I was kinda wondering why it said that so many times... Well, interesting post... I haven't been on in a while, and this seemed to be the most interesting thing there...

    77. How to do all of your homework on Monday at 1:00 in the morning

    Now that I think about it, I remember doing homework from 5:00 PM Friday to about 3:00 AM Monday Morning... Ever notice how the radio repeats a song a lot of times each day? I sure did.......

    -Tim_axe

  4. #4
    Fastest Thing Alive s0nIc's Avatar
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    hahah yeah i do.. sometimes i tally which song they play the most often...

  5. #5
    Senior Member cwk9's Avatar
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    |Calculus|

    Granted we need people who know calculus to build bridges and stuff but why did they have to make me suffer through it. I don't want to build bridges.
    Its not software piracy. I’m just making multiple off site backups.

  6. #6
    Aren't they all true.....

  7. #7
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    cwk - is ur avatar the Ghost of terran race in starcraft/brood war ???
    [shadow]i have a herd of 1337 sheep[/shadow]
    Worth should be judged on quality... Not apperance... Anyone can sell you **** inside a pretty box.. The only real gift then is the box..

  8. #8
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    "I forgive you for those unkind words Molesworth"

  9. #9
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
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    102. That there are An Average of 158 Sesami seed's on a McDonald's BigMac.....

    I'm the king of Trivia.. :P lol......Nice post....didn't understand Nr. 30
    30. Why boys are idiots
    I'm M btw....lol
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

  10. #10
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    cwk9, love your avatar, starcraft... ghost awesome

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