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Thread: Microsoft....

  1. #1
    Fastest Thing Alive s0nIc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001

    Talking Microsoft....

    I got this in my e-mail.. haha funny stuff.. i might think of using one of em as a signature.. haha

    "640K ought to be enough for anybody." — Bill Gates, 1981.

    "[A]bort, [R]etry, [I]gnore, [F]ail ?" — Does Bill Gates know the answer ?.

    "Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN !"

    "Win95 not found, [P]arty, [C]elebrate, [D]rink ?"

    "Windows 95 /n./ 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."

    "I wonder what Jesus would do if He had to reload Windows 95 for the eighth time today ?" — Mirabour Gilbride.

    "English, the Microsoft of languages..."

    "Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now ? [OK]"

    "WinNT: All the headaches of Unix, but in a pretty, windowed environment."

    "WinNT: supports Plug'n Play devices, just not Plug 'n Play..."

    "DOS never says 'EXCELLENT command or filename'."

    "MS-DOS isn't dead, it just smells that way." — Henry Spencer

    "It's been said that Bill Gates named his company after his dick..."

    "Ever notice how fast Windows runs ?
    — Neither did I."

    "I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse."

    "If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft."

    "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated." — Bumper sticker.

    "Double your drive space — delete Windows !" — Bumper sticker.

    "If you don't know where you want to go, we will make sure you get there." — Microsoft slogan translated in Japanese.

    "In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates ?" — Dino Esposito.

    "Is OS/2 only half an operating system ?"

    "Overall, OS/2's problems fall into two categories: IBM and Microsoft." — Jean-Louis Gassee.

    "Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer." — Erik Naggum.

    "Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight." — Bill Gates.

    "The only people who have anything to fear from free software (such as GNAT) are those whose products are worth even less." — David Emery.

    "...the best way to prepare [to be a programmer] is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and fished out listings of their operating system." — Bill Gates.

    "Brilliance is typically the act of an individual, but incredible stupidity can usually be traced to an organization." — Jon Bentley.

    "What does the Start button do — isn't the computer already running ?" — A Win95 user.

    "Why should I press the Start button to turn the computer off ?" — A Win95 user.

    "Windows95: It's like upgrading from Reagan to Bush." — Andy G. Ihnatko.

    "People say Microsoft payed 14M$for using the Rolling Stones song 'Start me up' in their commercials. This is wrong. Microsoft payed 14M$ only for a part of the song. For instance, they didn't use the line 'You'll make a grown man cry'."

    "Microsoft Works." — Oxymoron

    "I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'."

    "Mac users swear by their Mac,
    PC users swear at their PC."

    "'Intel Inside': The world's most widely used warning label." — Jim Hopper.

    "Intel: We put the 'um...' in Pentium."

    "'Intel Inside' is a Government Warning requied by Law."

    "The Pentium III: It's Hitler Inside !"

    "Q: What's the advantage of having Bill Gates and the Pope in the same city ?
    A: So that the Pope can talk directly to God."

    "Q: How many Ms programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
    A: 2,304. One to write WinCheckLightBulbStatus, one to write WinGripLightBulb..."

    "Q: How many Bill Gates does it take to change a lightbulb ?
    A: None, he just defines Darkness™ as the new industry standard..."

    Customer: "I'm running Windows '98"
    Tech: "Yes."
    Customer: "My computer isn't working now."
    Tech: "Yes, you said that."

    "People who think MS-DOS & Windows are the slickest thing since sliced butter should be forced to wear a sign stating 'This mind intentionally left blank'."

    "Print out the EULA, strike the offending paragraphs out, have it notarized, send a copy in a certified letter to Microsoft with a note saying that their signature (on delivery of letter) is acceptance of the ammended terms. End of story." — BlueUnderwear.

    "A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting."

    "Windows: Just another pain in the glass."

    "Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something."

    "Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."

    "Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows."

    "When the grammar checker identifies an error, it suggests a correction and can even makes some changes for you." — Microsoft Word for Windows 2.0 User's Guide.

    "Apparently, Windows 98 is going to be renamed 'Diana, Princess of Windows'. It's overrated, overpriced, consumes loads of resources and crashes spectacularly..."

    "Microsoft is trying to add some humor to it's error messages in Windows 2000. Here are a couple of examples:
    — Printer not responding: Got a pen and paper handy ?
    — Three things are certain in life: Taxes, death, and data loss. Guess which has just occured ?"

    "Our most reliable OS yet !"*
    (*Based on total crashes since OS release) — Microsoft disclaimer about WinXP.

    "For us Windows users, reports of new security issues seem to come as often as potholes on an Arkansas highway. Like the potholes, looking for the next one isn't all that interesting or entertaining, but we still have to try to avoid them or at least minimize their impact."

    "Heard of the new version of Windows from MS ? It is called CEMENT — CE+ME+NT"

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    "It's been said that Bill Gates named his company after his dick..."
    HAHAHa thats hillarious! MICRO & SOFT HAHAHA

    [glowpurple]\"Your Smallest Flaw is my greatest Strength.\" - Me[/glowpurple]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Um.............. Why is it always Gates that gets blamed? He is not the one who actually programs the softwares, he just sits back and wait for the money!

    Um........ It seems that Lindows should solve all the problems for most of us if it can run all the programs Windows (or at least 90%) can! GO WINE

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