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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002

    Application For Permission To Date My Daughter

    inspired by sonic's post..

    i dug up this one off an old computer.. that i had transcribed off of what someone had
    handwritten and passed around while camping at a car racetrack some 3 yrs ago..
    it's been modified a few times.. and if anyone has a few more mods to suggest..
    please tack it on.. i'm due to go camping at the track again this memorial day weekend
    and any worthly additions will be included and re-spread to parents all over.. thanks.


    NOTE : This application will be considered incomplete and therefore rejected unless accompanied by a photograph,
    a complete financial statement, your job history and a current medical report from your doctor.


    NAME : ___________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
    HOME ADDRESS ________________________________
    HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT _________ I.Q. _______ G.P.A. ____________
    SOCIAL SECURITY/NATIONAL ID # _____________________
    DRIVERS LICENSE # _________________________
    HIGHEST BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES EARNED___________________________


    Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent ? ____ If no, explain ___________________
    Number of years they’ve been married ______ If less than your age, explain _____________
    Church you attend ___________________
    How often do you attend ? _______________________
    When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor ? ____________


    Do you own a van ? ______ A truck with over-sized tires ? _____ A waterbed ? _____
    A pickup with a mattress in the back ? _____ Do you have any pierced body parts ? _____
    Do you have a tattoo ? _____
    Have you ever been neutered or carry propholatics ? _______
    ( If yes to any of these questions, discontinue this application and leave the premises now )


    What does late mean to you ?
    What does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER “ mean to you ?
    What does “ ABSTINENCE “ mean to you ?
    What do you want to be IF you grow up ?

    Fill in the blanks… please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
    (I won’t print them in the local newspaper)

    If I were shot, the last place I’d want to be shot is _____________
    If I were beaten, the last bone I’d want broken is ______________
    A woman’s place is in the ___________________

    The one thing I hope this application doesn’t ask me is

    When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her _______________

    ( NOTE : If the answer to the above begins with the letter “B” or “T” , discontinue this application and leave the premises
    immediately, keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion. )

    I swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death,
    dismemberment, native-american ant torture, crucifixation, chinese water torture, red-hot pokers, pissed-off trucker’s revenge and the Hillary Clinton kiss torture…

    SIGNATURE________________________________ DATE ______________

    Thank you for your interest. Allow 4-6 months for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
    DO NOT try to call or write. If you are rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying
    violin cases. (you might want to watch your back)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    lol id probably fail! hehe

  3. #3
    Fastest Thing Alive s0nIc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    thats a classic.. ill print this out too... and the 10 rules would be by Disclaimer or Terms Of Reference.. hahaha

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Had I to fill that form out when I met my fiancée, I would not be with her now

  5. #5
    Flash M0nkey
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Do you have a tattoo ? _____
    plays way too much on stereo type

    /me has 3 and am really nice guy (i think)

    but still tres funny post


  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    I'd fail for sure - but for the wrong reasons.
    Point 1: Yes, I own a van. It is a Honda Odyssee and is needed to carry my business supplies to conventions.
    Point 2: I carry prophylactics, but that's just common sense - besides, referring to your boy scouts thingy, a boy scouts survival kit contains prophylactics for carrying water.
    Point 3: Putting "THE" as the last word on "A woman's place is in the" makes it very hard to answer this, and not sound like an ass.
    Point 4: The first thing that I notice on many women starts with "B" - Balls or Beard. If they have either, I run.
    Point 5: Incidentally, what's wrong with noticing a woman's "T"eeth?


    Pierce me with steel, rend me with claw and fang; as I die, a legend is born for another generation to follow.
    An\' it harm none, do as ye will. - Wiccan Rede

  7. #7
    AntiOnline Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    plays way too much on stereo type
    I have to agree, I have 3 tatts and I'm the nicest guy I know.....

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    I like that... Lol if any answer above begins with "B" or "T" then leave now. LMFAO!

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