Application For Permission To Date My Daughter

[sumdumguy]

inspired by sonic's post..
http://www.antionline.com/showthread...hreadid=227995

i dug up this one off an old computer.. that i had transcribed off of what someone had
handwritten and passed around while camping at a car racetrack some 3 yrs ago..
it's been modified a few times.. and if anyone has a few more mods to suggest..
please tack it on.. i'm due to go camping at the track again this memorial day weekend
and any worthly additions will be included and re-spread to parents all over.. thanks.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE : This application will be considered incomplete and therefore rejected unless accompanied by a photograph,
a complete financial statement, your job history and a current medical report from your doctor.

GENERAL INFORMATION

NAME : ___________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________
HOME ADDRESS ________________________________
COUNTRY/CITY/STATE/ZIP_________________________________________
HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT _________ I.Q. _______ G.P.A. ____________
SOCIAL SECURITY/NATIONAL ID # _____________________
DRIVERS LICENSE # _________________________
HIGHEST BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES EARNED___________________________

FAMILY INFORMATION

Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent ? ____ If no, explain ___________________
Number of years they’ve been married ______ If less than your age, explain _____________
Church you attend ___________________
How often do you attend ? _______________________
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor ? ____________

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Do you own a van ? ______ A truck with over-sized tires ? _____ A waterbed ? _____
A pickup with a mattress in the back ? _____ Do you have any pierced body parts ? _____
Do you have a tattoo ? _____
Have you ever been neutered or carry propholatics ? _______
( If yes to any of these questions, discontinue this application and leave the premises now )

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS

What does late mean to you ?
___________________________________
What does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER “ mean to you ?
___________________________________
What does “ ABSTINENCE “ mean to you ?
___________________________________
What do you want to be IF you grow up ?
___________________________________

Fill in the blanks… please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
(I won’t print them in the local newspaper)

If I were shot, the last place I’d want to be shot is _____________
If I were beaten, the last bone I’d want broken is ______________
A woman’s place is in the ___________________

The one thing I hope this application doesn’t ask me is
_________________________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her _______________

( NOTE : If the answer to the above begins with the letter “B” or “T” , discontinue this application and leave the premises
immediately, keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion. )

I swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death,
dismemberment, native-american ant torture, crucifixation, chinese water torture, red-hot pokers, pissed-off trucker’s revenge and the Hillary Clinton kiss torture…


SIGNATURE________________________________ DATE ______________

Thank you for your interest. Allow 4-6 months for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
DO NOT try to call or write. If you are rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying
violin cases. (you might want to watch your back)

[Dome]

lol id probably fail! hehe

[s0nIc]

thats a classic.. ill print this out too... and the 10 rules would be by Disclaimer or Terms Of Reference.. hahaha

[tyger_claw]

Had I to fill that form out when I met my fiancée, I would not be with her now

[valhallen]

Do you have a tattoo ? _____

plays way too much on stereo type

/me has 3 and am really nice guy (i think)

but still tres funny post

v_Ln

[SSJVegeta-Sei]

I'd fail for sure - but for the wrong reasons.
Point 1: Yes, I own a van. It is a Honda Odyssee and is needed to carry my business supplies to conventions.
Point 2: I carry prophylactics, but that's just common sense - besides, referring to your boy scouts thingy, a boy scouts survival kit contains prophylactics for carrying water.
Point 3: Putting "THE" as the last word on "A woman's place is in the" makes it very hard to answer this, and not sound like an ass.
Point 4: The first thing that I notice on many women starts with "B" - Balls or Beard. If they have either, I run.
Point 5: Incidentally, what's wrong with noticing a woman's "T"eeth?

SSJVegeta-Sei

[Specter6]

plays way too much on stereo type

I have to agree, I have 3 tatts and I'm the nicest guy I know.....

[JRoc]

I like that... Lol if any answer above begins with "B" or "T" then leave now. LMFAO!