<cfparam name="stressLevel" value="0">
<cfparam name="iAmStressed" value="0">

<cfset stressLevel = 100>

<cfif stressLevel > 20>
<cfset iAmStressedAndNeedHelp = 1>

<cfif iAmStressedAndNeedHelp Is 1>
<cf_visit site="http://www.antionline.com>
<cfloop index="i" from="#stressLevel#" to="0">
<cf_sigh life="boring">
<cf_findawaytogetstressed soican="visit antionline">

adapted form code posted on comedy code


<cfset iAwakeStatus = 1>
<cfset iHungryStatus = 1>

<cfif iAwakeStatus Is 1 And iHungryStatus Is 1>

<cfexecute name="AnalyzeFridge" arguments="-meal breakfast" outputfile="./data/results.txt">

<cf_analyzeresults meal="breakfast">

<cfif iMealItemsRequired Is Not 0>

<cf_gotostore item="self">

<cfloop collection="MealItemsRequired" index="i">
<cf_pickupitem item="#MealItemsRequired[.i]#">

<cfloop collection="MealItemsRequired" index="i">
<cf_payforitem item="#MealItemsRequired[.i]#">

<cfloop index="i" from="1" to="100">
<cf_laughterengine volume="#i#">

<cf_notice event="fly_is_down" parameters="hanging_out=true,crowd_is_staring=true>
<cf_embarass mode="1" defense="run">


Private Function getProgrammerExcuse() As String

Dim myExcuses(1 to 21) As String

myExcuses(1) = "That's Weird...",
myExcuses(2) = "It's never done that before.",
myExcuses(3) = "It worked yesterday.",
myExcuses(4) = "How is that possible?",
myExcuses(5) = "It must have a hardware problem.",
myExcuses(6) = "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash." ,
myExcuses(7) = "There is something funky in your data",
myExcuses(8) = "I haven't touched that module in weeks!" ,
myExcuses(9) = "You must have wrong version.",
myExcuses(10) = "It's just some unlucky coincidence." ,
myExcuses(11) = "I can't test everything!",
myExcuses(12) = "THIS can't be the source of THAT." ,
myExcuses(13) = "It works, but it's not been tested." ,
myExcuses(14) = "Somebody must have changed my code.",
myExcuses(15) = "Did you check for a virus on your system?",
myExcuses(16) = "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel? ,
myExcuses(17) = "You can't use that version on your system.",
myExcuses(18) = "Why do you want to do it that way?",
myExcuses(19) = "Where were you when the program blew up?",
myExcuses(20) = "I thought I fixed that.",
myExcuses(21) = "This is not a bug,it's undocumented feature."

Dim randomChoice As New Random(UBound(myExcuses))
Dim iRandomChoice As Integer = randomChoice.Next()

Return myExcuses(iRandomChoice)

End Function

also from comedy code