May 26th, 2002, 12:00 AM
Really Bored? Try this...
Here are some things you can do to help you pass time when your really board...
Things you can do with absolutely nothing...
Push your eyes for interesting light show:
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things - is your subconscious trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV? Or for that matter, watch TV with your eyes shut doing this?
See how long you can hold your breath:
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible.
Try to not think about polar bears:
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about polar bears anyway.
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.
Try to swallow your tongue:
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) There's not much to say about this one. It is possible.
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image:
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.
Get yourself as nauseated as possible:
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
Things you can do with very little:
See what's in your neighbor's trash:
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent:
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Fun to pretend the people on the screen are actually talking that way.
Call up people who write editorials you disagree with:
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes) I'm surprised no one has thought of this before. Unleash your fury on the person who had the nerve to write a letter like that! I'm pretty sure it doesn't qualify as a prank phone call, too.
Make prank phone calls:
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes) Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Even more fun if you get a bunch of people on the line using a Wonderphone and take turns making the calls. One to get you started off: Call McDonald's, try to make reservations.
Pretend all humans will die except for people in the room with you:
(Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes) What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff:
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and... AHHHHHH!!!!!
Burn things with a magnifying glass:
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes) Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.
Things you can do with another person:
Have a water drinking contest:
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around:
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment--does this really work?
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition:
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view:
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear:
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck:
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes) Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.
May 26th, 2002, 12:06 AM
Tonight On TV
If you don't feel like doing any of the above here is whats on tv tonight....
It seems each year television gets worse and worse, just look at what's on television tonight...
8:00 Real Humans in Real Pain
8:30 Feral Dingoes Eating Children on Tape
9:00 Jiggle It Beach
9:30 LA Chicks
10:00 Beverly Hills 90210: The 90,210th Episode
8:00 The Unwatchables
8:30 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Ratings
9:00 Theoretically Existing Show
9:30 Praying For Syndication
10:00 The Last Thing You'd Ever Want To Sit Through
8:00 Where My Wife At?
8:30 Gittin' Yo Freak On
9:00 Me & My Psychic
9:30 Kids Suck The Darndest Things
10:00 Dawson's Clothes
8:00 Incontinent Rhinos
9:00 Dan Taylor: Mongoose Optometrist
10:30 The Best of STAY!
8:00 Andy Gibb: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
9:00 Margot Kidder: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
10:00 Boy George: A Nightmare Descent Into Booze & Pills
8:00 Finland's Brutalest Men
8:30 Being Hit By A Trolley Regional Semifinals
9:00 60 Minutes Of Joe Theismann's Leg Breaking
10:00 Co-Ed Spread-Eagled Weight-Training From Maui
8:00 Space: 1972
9:00 The Bermuda Triangle: Myth Or Fiction?
10:00 Mid-Budget Galaxy
8:00 How Can I Choose Between My Daughters?
9:00 The Abused Wife Who Didn't Mean To Kill Her Policeman Husband In Self-Defense
10:00 The Boy Whose Mommy Watched Far Too Much Television
8:00 Well, I'll Be Dipped In Pigshit!
9:00 You Hush Up, Wanda Mae
10:00 Hold 'Er Down While I Get The Rifle From The Truck
8:00 Roberto Amorosa En Agua Caliente!
9:00 Whoomp! Donde Esta?
10:00 Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!
10:30 La Hora De Goya
8:00 Blurry Steve
8:30 Inaudible City Council Meeting
9:00 Do We Have A Caller On The Line? Hello?
9:30 The Best Of Lunch Menus
10:00 My Friend Made This Short Film
10:30 Men With Braids Speak Out
May 26th, 2002, 12:12 AM
There is security papers in my neighbor's trash!!!
I'm persecuted by security
Life is boring. Play NetHack... --more--
May 26th, 2002, 12:12 AM
ROFL Oh man those are some good things to do...there more amusing when your drunk but what the hell it works.
May 26th, 2002, 12:14 AM
Oh looky... another copy-and-pasted joke... Great way to earn antipoints, SO
May 26th, 2002, 12:26 AM
Im not in it for the AntiPoints!!! Im in it to make people simle, and maybe even have a good laugh....
I don't give to shits about the AntiPoint system... I don't want people to like me any more or any less due to my antipoint stats. I post what I want when I want. If you like what I post cool. If you don't like what I post thats cool as well... As long as I feel I got my point across im happy...
May 26th, 2002, 01:52 AM
i dont know, i thought it was prtty funny even if it wasnt original
May 26th, 2002, 02:08 AM
System-Overload... I don't have a problem with you posting jokes in General Chit Chat.. But just think about this: you're getting lots of antipoints for posts that you just copy and pasted, while other people work very hard on tutorials that only a few people get to read because you 'get rid of them' because of the replies to your posts...
Here's a suggestion: just put 'JOKE:' in the title of every joke you're going to post, so I can set up the Proxomitron to ignore those posts...
May 26th, 2002, 02:25 AM
I will do that.... I don't get meny points from my jokes, and if I do who cares???
What good are antipoints??? Am I going to win something for getting lots of antipoints? *I donn't think so* Is JP going to send me a buck for every antipoint I get? *I think not*
Yes it's nice to know if people like your threads and post replys, but we don't need antipoints for that... You can post a reply to someones thread telling them what you think, or you can pm them a message...
I could have -1000 antipoints or +1000 antipoints... That does not make me a better person or a bad person.... Take a look at ex member FocMaester he had a **** load of +antipoints and he was one of the biggest *******s on the face of the earth....
FocMaester is proof that the AntiPoint system does not mean a thing....
May 26th, 2002, 02:38 AM
Proxo tut was good neg, truely original. . .thassome funnt shite, tho OvrlO|2d, step off a curb w/ ur eyes shut and imagine it's a cliff, hehe heh, I used to do that when I was little. Anti-Points, bah. . ., it's like 'how many demerits did you get in high school', this site is okay, but, just one more form of Stigma rears it's head w/ the title of AP's.