May 29th, 2002, 05:56 PM
Wednesday Humor -Politically Correct
(I received this via an email I did a post search and didn't see it in the past -sorry if it was previously posted)
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2002version)
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATIONSUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLYSUPERIOR.
12.She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
10.He is not HORNY - he is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
May 29th, 2002, 06:04 PM
LOL, thanks dspeidel, funny stuff
May 29th, 2002, 06:08 PM
[gloworange]Die, or surrender, either way won\'t work.[/gloworange]
May 29th, 2002, 06:30 PM
A different colleague just sent me the following http://www.cscentral.com/you.rule (best with sound -but not set loud [if your in the office])
If you spend more on coffee than on IT security, you will be hacked. What\'s more, you deserve to be hacked.
-- former White House cybersecurity adviser Richard Clarke