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Thread: Every O/S Sucks (j/k)

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002

    Every O/S Sucks (j/k)

    I found this track on MP3.com and thought It was about the funniest thing I had heard in an age - I know I feel this way some mornings . I don't usually post jokes (apologies to those who dislike jokes on these boards, but I did put it in the thread title - you didn't /have/ to open it ), but I transcribed the lyrics myself and therefore it's not availible anywhere else, so I felt it was worth posting.


    I come from a time in the Nineteen hundred and seventies when computers were used for two things. To either go to the moon or to play pong. No in between you see. Now you didn't need a fancy operating system to play Pong and the men who went to the moon, god bless 'em, did it with no mouse, and a plain, text only, black and white screen and 32 kilobytes of RAM.

    Now round about the late seventies /home/ computers started to do a little more than play pong. Very /little/ more. Why, computers started to play games and balance check books, you could play Zaxxon on you Apple 2, or write a book, all with a computer that had 32 kilobytes of RAM. It was enough to go to the moon and it was enough for you.

    It was golden time - a time before windows, before mice, before the Internet and bloatware, and a time before every O/S sucked.

    But then Xerox made a prototype, Steve Jobs came on the scene, read of mice and menus windows, icons, trash and a bitmapped screen. Old Stevie said to Xerox, "Boys turn your heads and cough", and while no one was looking he ripped their inner faces off. Stole every feature he has seen, put it in a cute box with a tiny little screen. Mac O/S 1 ran that machine. Only cost 5000 bucks! But it was slow and it was buggy so the wrote it again - now they're up to O/S 10. They'll charge you for the Beta and then charge you again. But the Mac O/S still sucks.

    Then microsoft jumped in the game, copied Apples interface with an O/S named Windows 3.1 - it was twice as lame - but the stock price rose and rose. Windows 95, then 98, Solitaire never ran so great but every single version came out late, but I guess that's the way it goes. But that bloatware will crash and delete your work - NT, ME, none of them work. Bill Gates may be richer than Captain Kirk but the windows O/S blows - and sucks at the same time.

    I'd trade it in - Yeah right - For what? It's top of the line for the Compu-Hut. But my fridge, stove and toaster never crash on me. I should be able to get on-line without a PHD. My phone doesn't take a week to boot it, my TV doesn't crash when I mute it, I miss ASCII text and my floppy drive - I wish Vic20 was still alive. It ain't the hardware - it's just that every O/S sucks.

    Now there's Linux (pron. lin-ux) or Linux (pron. li-nux); I don't know how you say it, or use it or play it, or where to download it or what programs run, but Linux (pron. lin-ux) or Linux (pron. li-nux) don't look like much fun.

    However you say it it's getting great press, but how it survives is anyones guess. If you ask me it's a great big mess, for elitist nerdy shmucks. It's free they say if you can get it to run, the geeks say, "hey, that's half the fun", yeah - but I've got a girlfriend and things to get done. The Linux O/S sucks. I'm sorry to say it but it does.

    Every O/S wastes your time, from the desktop to the lap. Everything since Apple DOS just a bunch of crap, from Microsoft to Macintosh to Lin-Line-lin-line-UX - EVERY computer crashes, because EVERY O/S sucks.

    Transcript of: Every O/S Sucks
    By: Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie.
    \"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.\"
    Sir Winston Churchill.

  2. #2
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    LMAO, that is funny.....
    - Noia
    <Point's Away Capt'n>
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Hahah, that was funny. But, after being up this long, everything starts to get funny. No really though.

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