June 7th, 2002, 04:31 AM
I read this wbsite daily and foud this to be Very Funny!!
If you would like to see where this came from..>>>>>>>
Text from frontpage of Website!!
nice virus, I expect you would enjoy it
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
People, please, for the love of all that is unholy, in the name of sweet baby Jesus almighty, or any other cliché my addled brain can conceive right now – get antivirus software.
I’m sure most of you are familiar with the Klez virus. Yes? Perhaps you’ve received an email saying something to the effect of “sexy Japanese lass’ WinXP patch would expect you to enjoy its nice game”? Well, this virus is making the relatively simple act of checking my email akin to digging through a pile of Rosie O’ Donnell’s **** to find the molar of the small child she ate last week. My delete key trigger finger can bench-press a freezer full of Lean Cuisine meals, and I’m tired of responding to people who want to know the address of my very new website that I expect them to enjoy. A quick explanation of Klez, ripped shamelessly from wired.com, is in order:
“The virus e-mails itself from infected machines using a bogus ‘From’ address randomly plucked from all e-mail addresses stored on an infected computer's hard drive or network. Recipients of the virus-laden e-mails, not understanding that the ‘From’ information is virtually always phony -- or even that they have received a virus -- have been clogging networks with angry and confused e-mails that are causing a great deal of cyber-havoc.”
Which means, everyone who has ever visited Consumption Junction and been infected by Klez, is sending viruses to all their friends on my behalf. Wait, I should rephrase that. Anyone who has been to CJ has my email address on his/her hard drive (because it’s on this page). If they then are infected by the virus by opening an infected email from a friend, they will start sending out copies to every email address on their computer while spoofing the “From:” field as being from another address on their hard drive. Five million people a month come to CJ, only God knows how many are klezbians, but what I know is that thousands of them are sending out viruses faking my email address as the sender, and it seems to be getting worse. This is cyber-havoc indeed, which is way worse than just a simple, localized cyber-riot, but not as bad as cyber-apocalypse, YET.
Between fits of smashing my head against a cinderblock, I’m actually rather impressed with this piece of bastard code – not that I have the slightest clue how to program, but I’ve got to respect its ability to breed off of the gullibility most email users. If I could bottle that, I’d call it Eau de Ignoramus, and build a Waffle House out of stacks of hundred dollar bills after wholesaling it to politicians and reality TV producers.
Anyway, my grumblings aren’t entertaining, but since I’m getting roughly a thousand Klez emails a day, I had to say something. If you aren’t using antivirus software, you’re a moron, but you can redeem yourself in my eyes and do the world a huge favor by clicking here and downloading the FREE removal software