Funny list of man things...
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Thread: Funny list of man things...

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Funny list of man things...

    Just as a note to all of you who hate to read funny threads, this is one so I'm warning you. My friend emailed me so I can't cite the exact source, but I think it's funny anyway so I'm bringing it to you all.


    22 Lessons for Women by Men!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

    2. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    3. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    4. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

    5. Crying is blackmail.

    6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

    Subtle hints do not work.
    Strong hints do not work.
    Obvious hints do not work.
    Just say it!

    7. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

    8. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    9. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    10. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    11. Check your oil! . Please.

    12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    14. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    15. Let us ogle (and maybe I shouldn't say this online, but Ogle is my last name, hehe, which I think it neat. I never see the word used. -jehnx). We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

    16. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    17. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

    18. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    19. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    20. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    21. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    22. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

  2. #2
    19. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    LOL all of those were hilarious..I was laughing hard.

  3. #3
    Banned
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    Lol too true

  4. #4
    The Iceman Cometh
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    Finally the truth comes out!!! We don't have to hide anything anymore!!! hehe

    AJ

  5. #5
    GreekGoddess
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    *nods and smirks*

  6. #6
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
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    HaHa! if Only I could get a girl I know to understand this we might get along
    Oh well, I'll just moozy on my Bad luck with girls
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

  7. #7
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    I thought about forwarding this to the significant other, but.... on second thought, no. Its not worth the fight. :P
    Remember -
    The ark was built by amatures...
    The Titanic was built by professionals.

  8. #8
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    I want to see this on billboards, bumber stickers and the confectionary aisles of supermarkets.

    Any way to get the message across

  9. #9
    AntiOnline Senior Member souleman's Avatar
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    18. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    What the hell is lavender?
    \"Ignorance is bliss....
    but only for your enemy\"
    -- souleman

  10. #10
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    18. ALL men se in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peace, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    Pumpkin is actually a color? ...Man.
    ...This Space For Rent.

    -[WebCarnage]

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