(j/k) - McDonnell Douglas Customer satisfaction questionnaire
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: (j/k) - McDonnell Douglas Customer satisfaction questionnaire

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    324

    (j/k) - McDonnell Douglas Customer satisfaction questionnaire

    An old friend sent me this and it made me laugh. I thought some of you might appreciate it. I can't quote a source because it came by email. Suffice it to say it's not mine.

    enjoy

    > >This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website
    > >by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The
    > >company, of
    > >course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web
    > >department take
    > >it down immediately. (For once, the "IMPORTANT" note at the
    > >end is worth
    > >a read too.)
    > >
    > >
    > >Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
    > >aircraft. In order
    > >to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out
    > >the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
    > >questions is not
    > >required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
    > >best meet your needs and desires.
    > >
    > >1. [_] Mr.
    > >[_] Mrs.
    > >[_] Ms.
    > >[_] Miss
    > >[_] Lt.
    > >[_] Gen.
    > >[_] Comrade
    > >[_] Classified
    > >[_] Other
    > >First Name: ............................
    > >Initial: .........
    > >Last Name: ..................................
    > >Password: ........................ (max. 8 char)
    > >Code Name: ..........................................................
    > >Latitude - Longitude - Altitude: ......................................
    > >
    > >2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
    > >
    > >[_] F-14 Tomcat
    > >[_] F-15 Eagle
    > >[_] F-16 Falcon
    > >[_] F-117A Stealth
    > >[_] Classified
    > >
    > >3. Date of purchase (year / month / day): ......./....... /......
    > >
    > >4. Serial Number: .............................................
    > >
    > >5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
    > >[_] Received as gift / aid package
    > >[_] Catalogue / showroom
    > >[_] Independent arms broker
    > >[_] Mail order
    > >[_] Discount store
    > >[_] Government surplus
    > >[_] Classified
    > >
    > >6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
    > >Douglas product
    > >you have just purchased:
    > >[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
    > >[_] Store display
    > >[_] Espionage
    > >[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
    > >[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
    > >[_] Was attacked by one
    > >
    > >7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
    > >decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    > >[_] Style / appearance
    > >[_] Speed / maneuverability
    > >[_] Price / value
    > >[_] Comfort / convenience
    > >[_] Kickback / bribe
    > >[_] Recommended by salesperson
    > >[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
    > >[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
    > >[_] Backroom politics
    > >[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
    > >
    > >8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
    > >[_] North America
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Aircraft carrier
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Europe
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Africa
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Asia / Far East
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Miscellaneous Third World countries
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >[_] Classified
    > >[_] Iraq
    > >
    > >9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
    > >purchase in the near future:
    > >[_] Color TV
    > >[_] VCR
    > >[_] ICBM
    > >[_] Killer Satellite
    > >[_] CD Player
    > >[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
    > >[_] Space Shuttle
    > >[_] Home Computer
    > >[_] Nuclear Weapon
    > >
    > >10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all
    > >that apply)
    > >[_] Communist / Socialist
    > >[_] Terrorist
    > >[_] Crazed
    > >[_] Neutral
    > >[_] Democratic
    > >[_] Dictatorship
    > >[_] Corrupt
    > >[_] Primitive / Tribal
    > >
    > >11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    > >[_] Deficit spending
    > >[_] Cash
    > >[_] Suitcases of cocaine
    > >[_] Oil revenues
    > >[_] Personal check
    > >[_] Credit card
    > >[_] Ransom money
    > >[_] Traveler's check
    > >
    > >12. Your occupation:
    > >[_] Homemaker
    > >[_] Sales / marketing
    > >[_] Revolutionary
    > >[_] Clerical
    > >[_] Mercenary
    > >[_] Tyrant
    > >[_] Middle management
    > >[_] Eccentric billionaire
    > >[_] Defense Minister / General
    > >[_] Retired
    > >[_] Student
    > >
    > >13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
    > >interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
    > >participating on a regular basis:
    > >[_] Golf
    > >[_] Boating / sailing
    > >[_] Sabotage
    > >[_] Running / jogging
    > >[_] Propaganda / misinformation
    > >[_] Destabilization / overthrow
    > >[_] Default on loans
    > >[_] Gardening
    > >[_] Crafts
    > >[_] Black market / smuggling
    > >[_] Collectibles / collections
    > >[_] Watching sports on TV
    > >[_] Wines
    > >[_] Interrogation / torture
    > >[_] Household pets
    > >[_] Crushing rebellions
    > >[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
    > >[_] Fashion clothing
    > >[_] Border disputes
    > >[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
    > >
    > >Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
    > >answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
    > >serve
    > >you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
    > >mailings and
    > >special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
    > >mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
    > >survey, you will
    > >be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
    > >Sweepstakes!
    > >
    > >Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
    > >McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department
    > >Military, Aerospace Division
    > >
    > >IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
    > >addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
    > >confidential
    > >privileged
    > >or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
    > >self-esteem, no sense
    > >of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
    > >recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this
    > >email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and
    > >constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word
    > >absquatulation
    > >has been used
    > >in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning,
    > >it does not
    > >have any legal or no grammatical use and may be ignored. No
    > >animals were
    > >harmed in the transmission of this email, though the kelpie
    > >next door is
    > >living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an
    > >overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn there is no
    > >hidden message revealed by reading this backwards, so just ignore that
    > >Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of
    > >salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm
    > >befalls you and your pets. If you have received this eMail in error,
    > >please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven
    > >for 40 minutes.
    \"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.\"
    Sir Winston Churchill.

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    88
    That was funny. thanks.
    America - Land of the free, home of the brave.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Posts
    33
    While still funny this joke is older than html and the web. I remember seeing it long before the Internet became what is it today (DARPA net). It was likely never posted on the McDonnell Douglas Website.

    It is still as funny as it was the first time I read it.

    Thanks, I enjoyed it.

    Stuart

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Posts
    712
    LOL... yeah, as stuart says - think this is older than dirt... think I remember seeing it around the time that faxes were more prevalent means of "joke exchanges" than the Internet... (then again, I specifically remember seeing this coming from a governmental defense contractor site/fax (much like M/D themselves)).
    \"Windows has detected that a gnat has farted in the general vicinity. You must reboot for changes to take affect. Reboot now?\"

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Posts
    77
    LOL. Old joke still funny

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    18
    that is funny

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •