An old friend sent me this and it made me laugh. I thought some of you might appreciate it. I can't quote a source because it came by email. Suffice it to say it's not mine.

enjoy

> >This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website
> >by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The
> >company, of
> >course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web
> >department take
> >it down immediately. (For once, the "IMPORTANT" note at the
> >end is worth
> >a read too.)
> >
> >
> >Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
> >aircraft. In order
> >to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out
> >the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
> >questions is not
> >required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
> >best meet your needs and desires.
> >
> >1. [_] Mr.
> >[_] Mrs.
> >[_] Ms.
> >[_] Miss
> >[_] Lt.
> >[_] Gen.
> >[_] Comrade
> >[_] Classified
> >[_] Other
> >First Name: ............................
> >Initial: .........
> >Last Name: ..................................
> >Password: ........................ (max. 8 char)
> >Code Name: ..........................................................
> >Latitude - Longitude - Altitude: ......................................
> >
> >2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> >
> >[_] F-14 Tomcat
> >[_] F-15 Eagle
> >[_] F-16 Falcon
> >[_] F-117A Stealth
> >[_] Classified
> >
> >3. Date of purchase (year / month / day): ......./....... /......
> >
> >4. Serial Number: .............................................
> >
> >5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> >[_] Received as gift / aid package
> >[_] Catalogue / showroom
> >[_] Independent arms broker
> >[_] Mail order
> >[_] Discount store
> >[_] Government surplus
> >[_] Classified
> >
> >6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
> >Douglas product
> >you have just purchased:
> >[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> >[_] Store display
> >[_] Espionage
> >[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> >[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> >[_] Was attacked by one
> >
> >7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
> >decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
> >[_] Style / appearance
> >[_] Speed / maneuverability
> >[_] Price / value
> >[_] Comfort / convenience
> >[_] Kickback / bribe
> >[_] Recommended by salesperson
> >[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> >[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> >[_] Backroom politics
> >[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
> >
> >8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
> >[_] North America
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Aircraft carrier
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Europe
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Africa
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Asia / Far East
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Miscellaneous Third World countries
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Classified
> >[_] Iraq
> >
> >9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
> >purchase in the near future:
> >[_] Color TV
> >[_] VCR
> >[_] ICBM
> >[_] Killer Satellite
> >[_] CD Player
> >[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> >[_] Space Shuttle
> >[_] Home Computer
> >[_] Nuclear Weapon
> >
> >10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all
> >that apply)
> >[_] Communist / Socialist
> >[_] Terrorist
> >[_] Crazed
> >[_] Neutral
> >[_] Democratic
> >[_] Dictatorship
> >[_] Corrupt
> >[_] Primitive / Tribal
> >
> >11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
> >[_] Deficit spending
> >[_] Cash
> >[_] Suitcases of cocaine
> >[_] Oil revenues
> >[_] Personal check
> >[_] Credit card
> >[_] Ransom money
> >[_] Traveler's check
> >
> >12. Your occupation:
> >[_] Homemaker
> >[_] Sales / marketing
> >[_] Revolutionary
> >[_] Clerical
> >[_] Mercenary
> >[_] Tyrant
> >[_] Middle management
> >[_] Eccentric billionaire
> >[_] Defense Minister / General
> >[_] Retired
> >[_] Student
> >
> >13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
> >interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
> >participating on a regular basis:
> >[_] Golf
> >[_] Boating / sailing
> >[_] Sabotage
> >[_] Running / jogging
> >[_] Propaganda / misinformation
> >[_] Destabilization / overthrow
> >[_] Default on loans
> >[_] Gardening
> >[_] Crafts
> >[_] Black market / smuggling
> >[_] Collectibles / collections
> >[_] Watching sports on TV
> >[_] Wines
> >[_] Interrogation / torture
> >[_] Household pets
> >[_] Crushing rebellions
> >[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> >[_] Fashion clothing
> >[_] Border disputes
> >[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
> >
> >Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
> >answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas
> >serve
> >you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
> >mailings and
> >special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
> >mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
> >survey, you will
> >be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
> >Sweepstakes!
> >
> >Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
> >McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department
> >Military, Aerospace Division
> >
> >IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
> >addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
> >confidential
> >privileged
> >or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
> >self-esteem, no sense
> >of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
> >recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this
> >email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and
> >constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word
> >absquatulation
> >has been used
> >in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning,
> >it does not
> >have any legal or no grammatical use and may be ignored. No
> >animals were
> >harmed in the transmission of this email, though the kelpie
> >next door is
> >living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an
> >overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn there is no
> >hidden message revealed by reading this backwards, so just ignore that
> >Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of
> >salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm
> >befalls you and your pets. If you have received this eMail in error,
> >please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven
> >for 40 minutes.