July 6th, 2002, 01:49 PM
USPS Does Email (Humor)
I want to began by saying this is completly my idea. Other people may have done the same idea, but I have not seen them, so please do not accuse me of copying posts. I was not able to reply to the last post I made which people accused me of copying posts. I did not copy posts. I found the stuff at humor sites. If there was a exact copy, maybe the snob who accused me should check to see if they copied mine. The link given was dead. A form moderateor killed the thread and I got a lot of negetive points. Those points have given me some sorta note that I may have my account terminated! I only posted once for peoples enjoyment. Now that I am finished on with:
What is the United States Postal Service did email...
You would pay per email by the amount of words long it was. This price would be rounded upwards to the next price consequently higher.
Their prices would be always going up.
You would pay fifty cents more for sending html email, but half the time the emails would processed in plain text format any way.
An email sent by a person on their server would be detained for about a week before it was sent to the recipient.
Emails suspected of containing flames would be isolated and forgotten about for eight months.
All the email might not come through and there might be strange characters in it here and there due to email abuse.
You could pay a nominal fee fifteen dollars and they would make sure it got there in one day.
You could pay fifteen more and they would make sure that they did there job and did not damage you email.
You could just pay twenty dollars and the post office would do both of these extra services.
People would insist that the last part of the email was email@example.com.
The postal service would on occasion close down becuase of terrorist threats, loseing all email and accounts.
They would send you back your email messed up and all garbled with a note saying they were sorry, but since you did not pay for insurance they had no reason to be careful and they had no reasponsiblty for the damage.
To make email like their mail service they would have a program that randomly deleted an email every few thousand emails, leaving no trace of it existing.
The postal server would be down most of the time, but would take email and act like it sent it.
They would lose money because they had such a poor service, but to compensate they would raise prices.
And finaly any emails sent to the postal service complaining about lost emails would be found a a program and deleted while a autoreasponse sent them a letter stating that they were working on it.
Well I hope you enjoy my view of our (in)compitent postal service.