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Thread: Technical Writing and Computer Terminology (Humor)

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2002

    Technical Writing and Computer Terminology (Humor)

    I'm hoping to get some green points, even though people have probably seen these two before.

    If Doctor Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals...

    If a packet hit a pocket on a socket on a port,
    And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
    And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
    Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

    If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
    And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
    And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
    Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash.

    You can't say this?
    What a shame sir.
    We'll find you,
    Another game sir.

    If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
    Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
    But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
    That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

    If your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
    So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
    Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
    'Cause sure as I'm the poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

    If the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
    And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
    Then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
    Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your MOM.

    Computer Terminology for the illiterate

    The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

    Any computer you can't afford.

    Any computer you own.

    The time it takes for your State-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

    Syntax Error
    "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

    GUI ("gooey")
    What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.

    Computer Chip
    Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.

    The standard way to generate computer errors.

    An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

    The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer

    Hard Drive
    The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.

    Portable Computer
    A device invented to force business people to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

    Disk Crash
    A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

    Power User
    Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

    System update
    A quick method of trashing all of your current software.
    Shelby Spencer

  2. #2
    AntiOnline Senior Member souleman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Flint, MI

    This is the humor thread. No antipoints should EVER be assigned in this thread. Unless people constantly make copy and paste posts, without a source....So the only points that should ever be assigned in this forum are negative. This is your first post, so I am not going to do anything right now.. Also, asking for greens can get you a lot of reds....

    \"Ignorance is bliss....
    but only for your enemy\"
    -- souleman

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    I agree with souleman, first you should never ask for points, and second this is a humor thread so its ment to enjoy not ask for points.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    sandsword, i at least liked your jokes.
    as for the points: karma, man, karma.
    just like water off a duck\'s back... I AM HERE.

    for CMOS help, check out my CMOS tut?

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