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Thread: Computer Quotes

  1. #1

    Talking Computer Quotes

    A thorough software professional is one who when his wife yells at him "goto hell" , worries more about the goto statement than what his wife is upset about.
    - -weirdo-

    Contrary to popular belief, Unix is user friendly. It just happens to be very selective about who it decides to make friends with.
    - Anonymous

    Don't waste all your time just designing. it'll horribly stunt you. take up a job at a grocery store or video rental place or anything, something that puts you in touch with normal people. design people are not normal. they have serious, serious problems and are too arrogant for their own good. try restocking a chip rack or getting yelled at to mop a floor. get some hair on your pubic region. sitting around with a mouse in one hand and an issue of emigre in the other is just making you fatter and uglier. you fat, ugly pig.
    - Bradford Cox Rewlz

    Win98 is just like a higher quality heroin.. it's still not good for us.
    - Capone

    Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity
    - Dennis Ritchie, Unix Co-Creator

    To me Windows is like this: It's as though there are hundreds of brands of cars, but all of them come with the same design of engine in them when you buy them...and every year when they make new cars, instead of designing a new engine, they just add more parts onto the same old design so the engine can do new things. They do this so they can still use the same old parts for the engine if they have to, but the engine design has gotten so big that sometimes it won't start at all, or shuts off on its own, or even seizes up so you have to put in a new engine (but only of the same design). So you have this new car with a nice transmission and smooth suspension, but the engine is like a coal burning steam engine, converted to run on diesel, then re-converted to run as a gas-electric hybrid, but with all the old parts still attached to it. No wonder it won't start properly, it stalls often, and it breaks down and the engine has to be reinstalled.
    - Disgruntled Windows User

    Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
    - Donald Knuth

    Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do.
    - Donald Knuth

    A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.
    - Douglas Adams

    A computer without Windows is like a chocolate cake without mustard.
    - Elfer

    Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
    - Jeff Raskin

    The problem with allowing the engineers who create a program also write its "Help" and "Tutorials" is that you get: People who cannot write, writing "Help" for people who do not need help.
    - Mark Rector

    Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
    - Michael Sinz

    It is the fate of operating systems to become free.
    - Neal Stephenson

    How many slums will we bulldoze to build the Information superhighway? The Information Superhighway is just a ****ing metaphor! Give me a break!
    - Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

    DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form."
    - New York Times, November 26, 1991

    To err is human..to really screw up you need a computer.
    - Scott Adams

    You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on.
    - Steve Jobs

    Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
    - Usenet Signature

  2. #2
    i thought this was nice lol

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Some are good, some are old. Where'd you get them from?

    Did you have to double-post?
    Why didn't it combine them?

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    LMAO! This wass some funny stuff. I wanna know where you got that too. I thought those were some good jokes. Nice job. Thanks for the laugh.

    Thanks for your time~
    [gloworange]Die, or surrender, either way won\'t work.[/gloworange]

  5. #5
    well i collected them from places, some googling helped
    here's the link if ya want - for more of these -


    iz me

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    A computer without Windows is like a chocolate cake without mustard.
    - Elfer
    Very funny~! lol

  7. #7
    "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
    -Pablo Picasso.

    "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
    -Rich Cook.

    "Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."
    -Rita May Brown.

    "All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men."
    -Isaac Asimov.

    "To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
    -Paul Ehrlich.

    "The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity."
    -Patrick Murray.

    "Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers."
    -Leonard Brandwein.

    "UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."
    -Dennis Ritchie.

    "The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again."
    -Al Goodman.

    "The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit."
    -Eric Porterfield.

  8. #8
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

    - Noia
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    they were good man lmao
    By the sacred **** of the sacred psychedelic tibetan yeti ....We\'ll smoke the chinese out
    The 20th century pharoes have the slaves demanding work

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