Geek Horoscopes
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Thread: Geek Horoscopes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2002

    Geek Horoscopes

    June 22 - July 22
    Low temp solder is a good conductor, but no matter what the guys on the HardOCP discussion board tell you, it doesn't make a good heat sink.

    July 23 - Aug 22
    The LAN party was only supposed to last the weekend. It's now Friday again, your mouth tastes like ether, and you still can't find your pants. Maybe you're not ready for RedBull jello shots.

    Aug 23 - Sep 22
    Failure follows you everywhere. You will be unable to convince the company tech that you need a DVD-RW for your position in billing.

    Sep 23 - Oct 23
    Be on the lookout for a huge check coming your way! Oh wait, it's a huge Czech . Still, be on the lookout.

    Oct 24 - Nov 21
    We have moved! You are being redirected to the Capricorn horoscope. If you are not redirected in 10 seconds, find it somewhere else on this page.

    Nov 22 - Dec 21
    I have two words for you: Plastic Surgery. That third ear is not gonna attract the ladies.
    Dec 22 - Jan 19
    Your project has been canceled after 3 years in development. The budget simply ran out. Apparently all those meetings in Milan were supposed to be conference calls.

    Jan 20 - Feb 18
    You'll be kicked out of the Linux Discussion Group this week. The Linux mascot is a penguin, not a seal. Get that into your head, you moron.

    Feb 19 - Mar 20
    The planets will finally align for you, and, at that moment, your boss will do your bidding. Unfortunately, it only lasts 20 minutes, and you'll be stuck in traffic at the time.

    Mar 21 - Apr 19
    The stars suggest you get rid of your Teletubby screensaver. It distracts them.

    Apr 20 - May 20
    You are disappointed to learn that the extra $300 dollars you spent on the 3-year warranty of your PC was voided when you didn't have a certified technician take the twisty-ties off all the cables.

    May 21 - June 21
    You've been promoted to CFO, YAY! But it's only because the rest of the company is in jail because of "Creative Accounting", BOO!

    from the brilliant genius' of

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Hmm. One, khakisrule posted that site a long time ago, and somebody else posted a joke from it as well. People need to stop using it in an attempt to get greenies. Though, in defense of khakisrule, (I have to stick up for him, or he'll beat me up, as we are neighbours) he claims he was only doing it to let people explore the site.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    err. yeah, i thin i read this before *sighs*
    my pages: (great resources for everyone) resource for computers, hacking, virii, wutnot. archive of logs and resource for laughter.
    --enjoy these pages, as they grow.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    pre-existing or not its still funny

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    I've already hit my limit on large scary Czech's comming my way.
    Alternate realities celebrate reality. If you cant handle the reality your in, then you wont be able to handle the one your attempting to escape to.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    well i lived in slovakia (right next to czech and basicly the same country) so ive seen my share of czechs also

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