101 Things you don't want your Sys Admin to say.
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Thread: 101 Things you don't want your Sys Admin to say.

  1. #1
    Gray Haired Old Fart aeallison's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Buffalo, Missouri USA

    101 Things you don't want your Sys Admin to say.

    Hey Guys/Gals I just stumbled on this while surfing.



    What the hell!?

    Go get your backup tape. (You do have a backup tape?)

    That's SOOOOO bizarre.

    Wow!! Look at this.....

    Hey!! The suns don't do this.


    What software license?

    Well, it's doing something.....

    Wow....that seemed fast.....

    I got a better job at Lockheed...

    Management says...

    Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgetted.

    What do you mean that wasn't a copy?

    It didn't do that a minute ago...

    Where's the GUI on this thing?

    Damn, and I just bought that pop...

    Where's the DIR command?

    The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.

    I cleaned up the root partition and now there's lots of free space.

    What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?

    Do you smell something?

    What's that grinding sound?

    I have never seen it do *that* before...

    I think it should not be doing that...

    I remember the last time I saw it do that...

    You might as well all go home early today ...

    My leave starts tomorrow.


    Hmm, maybe if I do this...

    "Why is my "rm *.o" taking so long?"

    Hmmm, curious...

    Well, my files were backed up.

    What do you mean you needed that directory?

    What do you mean /home was on that disk? I umounted it!

    Do you really need your home directory to do any work?

    Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.

    I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.

    Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?

    We're standardizing on AIX.

    Wonder what this command does?

    What did you say your (l)user name was...? ;-)

    You did what to the floppy???

    Sorry, we deleted that package last week...

    NO! Not that button!

    Uh huh......"nu -k $USER".. no problem....sure thing...

    Sorry, we deleted that package last week...

    [looks at workstation] "Say, what version of DOS is this running?"

    Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)

    YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!

    What do you mean that could take down the whole network?

    What's this switch for anyways...?

    Tell me again what that '-r' option to rm does

    Say, What does "Superblock Error" mean, anyhow?

    If I knew it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.

    Was that your directory?

    System coming down in 0 min....

    The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!

    Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?

    OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).

    The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?

    It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours. (This is said on a Monday afternoon.)

    I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip without triping the breaker.

    What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?

    I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.

    Ummm... Didn't you say you turned it off?

    The network's down, but we're working on it. Come back after dinner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline...)

    Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!

    Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.

    I hate it when that happens.

    And what does it mean 'rm: .o: No such file or directory'?

    Why did it say '/bin/rm: not found'?

    Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?

    You can do this patch with the system up...

    What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?

    The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???

    Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk....

    What do mean by "fired"?

    hey, what does mkfs do?

    OK, let's set cron to clear out the user's home directories every night...

    where did you say those backup tapes were kept?

    ...and if we just swap these two disc controllers like this...

    don't do that, it'll crash the sys........ ****

    what's this hash prompt on my terminal mean?

    dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix

    find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {};

    now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either

    Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750

    Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4

    SMIT makes it all so much easier......

    Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?

    I don't care what he says, I'm not having it on my network

    We don't support that. We won't support that.

    ...and after I patched the microcode...

    You've got TECO. What more do you want?

    We prefer not to change the root password, it's an nice easy one

    Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...

    Next week we're ditching these UNIX machines and moving to Windows NT. Now won't that
    be exciting?

    I don't care if your machine's crashed! I just lost another life!

    When I were a lad I'd have given an arm and a leg for that much filestore.
    I got this here.
    I have a question; are you the bug, or the windshield?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    he he he, old but good

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    i read that this morning. funny stuff in there.
    i even got to use some of it on people today.
    crazy lusers, messing up my network!
    cest la vie, right? at least its job security.
    just like water off a duck\'s back... I AM HERE.

    for CMOS help, check out my CMOS tut?

  4. #4
    Gray Haired Old Fart aeallison's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Buffalo, Missouri USA

    i read that this morning. funny stuff in there.
    i even got to use some of it on people today.
    crazy lusers, messing up my network!
    cest la vie, right? at least its job security.

    I would like to try some of these too...lol.

    I saw this earlier and LMHO, I ran a search for it on AO and did not come up with it so I thought it would be funny to post.
    I have a question; are you the bug, or the windshield?

  5. #5
    Something else to try at the office is a trick to get your supervisor/boss to initiate the thought of happy hour. Monday - Thursday switch the coffee to decaf. On Friday make an extra strong pot of regular, and comment to your supervisor throughout the day... "Wow, I've never seen you this excited on a Friday.... Must be a special weekend" We pulled this joke on our supervisor and he was out the door @ 2:30. We haven't tried it in a while, but the time before that was last year, and he inititiated happy hour. Hey getting out early is even better than happier hour w/ the boss. It's happy hour w/o the boss .....

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Toledo, OH

    Talking More Fun

    Personally, I like the one where you add slips of paper to the victim's hatband gradually over time, or shorten the legs on their desk just a bit every week (have backup desk ready for replacement purposes!). Just the little things, spread out over time, drives them crazy. Make sure they don't find out who........
    Ab Hoc Possum Videre Domum Tuum.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    that trick works better with expresso or capachino (i dont like coffie so i dont know which is which)

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    lmao, I'll have to remember that! That's great (happy hour joke is)

    BTW: I like the sysadmin joke as well
    Search First Ask Second. www.google.com

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    If you liked that post, you may like this...


    It's an online zine called the Bastard Operator From Hell. It's about an evil and malicious Sysadmin that will stop at nothing to make other people pay for their incompetence and from him just being a dick. I'm sure that he really doesn't ALL of the things he claims in his zine but it sometimes is funny as hell.

    Packetstorm, by the way, is a kick ass site with tons of security info, with white papers, tools, forums, and more. Try it to supplement your antionline fix.


  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Another one I'd like to add is 'When you're sys admin steps back and ask,"Do you think it will work?" '
    There is no spoon, but you yourself that bends...
    END VIRUS.exe

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