Uber-l337 |-|4c|<0|2

[valhallen]

Taken from - here


**please remember I'm nought to do with this I just found it at the above addy and thought some peps might get a giggle**


I'll be the first to admit I don't know a damn thing about hacking / cracking, nor do I really care to learn. Sure, I consider myself "l33t" because I wrote many exciting text-adventure games in BASIC on my Apple IIC, but beyond that I don't know a damn thing about programming or hacking. I leave all the techincal crap up to the professionals, and stick to writing nonsense for SA and VE.

With this in mind, it really struck me by surprise that some idiot out there ICQed me, asking for help hacking somebody's computer. I assume some other smartass gave him my UIN, claiming I could aid him in his pursuit of wannabe l33tness. So I ended up giving him all the help I could by making up various bullshit computer terms, inside jokes, and bogus definitions that usually had something to do with this site. Good luck hacking, Pike.





PiKe - are you on? "because today you do not have n/a"

Lowtax - yes

PiKe - oh ok i heard you where a good hacker?

Lowtax - Oh yeah, I'm SUP4H L33T

PiKe - what does that mean?

Lowtax - It's secret haX0r code faG0t!!!

PiKe - ok well ive been told you can help me

Lowtax - Y3S, MY chILD?

PiKe - ya i need to know how do get into someones comp using their ip# and stuff and like get stuff or something

Lowtax - Do you use Service condition release pak 12-C or the alt. release?

PiKe - ya ummm what?

Lowtax - What operating system are you using?

PiKe - oh, windows 98

Lowtax - So what release client / host TCP protocol do you have installed?

Lowtax - What kind of hacking have you done in the past? I need to know so I can determine what skill level you're on.

PiKe - not realy ANYTHING i have lots of hacking programs but most of them don't work but i know what phreaking, hacking, cracking are ive read up a little

Lowtax - Have you done any work with the Pusherbot v2.1 client hack prog?

PiKe - nope

Lowtax - What about a basic Shoverbot? These programs force fake data packets through a false TMCPT server and reroute the service modules for outgoing packets which can screw up their net connection

PiKe - no like i said all ive done is read up a little and downloaded a few stuff


Lowtax - Oh, okay. Well, what stuff would you like to do? Basic thermal-packet deregulation? IMPCTCP rerouting? Seismic tosses? Hard-boot fixes?

PiKe - ya what? ok i don't want to dammage anything i just wan't to get in and look around a bit and maby bug em a little

Lowtax - OK, so you want to do some level three MoFos access stuff? Poking around the hard drive, maybe rename a few files, and look at stuff?

PiKe - ya and get stuff from them too like a ftp or something

Lowtax - Ok, sounds like a level 4 MoFos / Pusherbot access thing. How much experience do you have with client-side C++ dll modules?

PiKe - probably none im going to be a hard one

PiKe - in the meanwile check out my page for a game "starcraft" www.angelfire.com/sc2/planetstarcraft ive programed it all using only html and javascript

Lowtax - Have you ever used any vector based rudimentary Ziggy666 scripts?

Lowtax - Oh, that's great. I wrote a crack for Starcraft that allows you to import the characters from Duke Nukem.

PiKe - cool

Lowtax - I also cracked Duke Nukem to allow people playing Starcraft to join in. Ever download that before?

PiKe - nope i have not got any starcraft cracks only diablo

Lowtax - I wrote a Diablo crack under the name "l33tw4r3zh4X0r" that turns it into Zelda. Have you seen that? If you press every keyboard key at the same time, you also get some credit card numbers.

PiKe - cool nope net herd of it i have bobba fetts hacking prog for it and i have like all the items

Lowtax - My friend helped work on that. Do you know Jeff K.?

PiKe - nope

Lowtax - Hmmm, okay. What were we talking about again? I'm sorry, I'm nuking a couple people in Mexico who were trying to break into my FTP server

PiKe - oh ok i need to know how to get into someones comp and stuff

Lowtax - Oh yeah, sorry. What net connection do you have?

PiKe - 56k

Lowtax - Do you live in Idaho?

PiKe - ya why?

Lowtax - Just running a few diagnostics on your Internet connection. I'm using the hack program I made.

Lowtax - OK, what's your target bitrate conversion factor?

PiKe - so why arn't you on verry oftian?

Lowtax - I cycle through accounts so the FBI can't get me

PiKe - oh ok ok now what was that about targets and stuff

Lowtax - What's the target's TCPIP UIN RAMBUS code?

PiKe - TCPIP UIN RAMBUS code? now what? the ip#?

Lowtax - No, dynamic IPs are worthless unless we're talking about static variables. What allocation host is the target on? A Win Proxy component? Fornication Allocation? What about the flipback switch?

PiKe - what are you talking about rember novic


Lowtax - Sorry, it's hard to explain this in novice terms for me, I've been haX0ring ever since I got my first Renaldo NR-2 Diametric System in 1982

PiKe - ok?

Lowtax - Alrighty, go into your computer properties and tell me what OS revision you're using, complete with the encoded serial number so I can get the right software to you

PiKe - ? os cearial code?

Lowtax - Yeah. First thing you gotta do is unplug your modem connection from your wall though, else it will give you false info. Unplug your modem cable from the wall really quickly, go into START - > SETTINGS -> CONTROL PANEL -> SYSTEM and look up the UIN MOFOS setting. You can only do it when the modem isn't connected, or else it will give you a false reading.

PiKe - im looking in system properties and i can't find "unimofos"

Lowtax - Did you unplug the modem connection from the wall? It won't show up unless you do that.

PiKe - where does it show up at in what section

Lowtax - Where I told you, in Control Panel. It shows up as an icon when you're not plugged in.

PiKe - ok? brb

(OFFLINE FOR 3 MINUTES)

PiKe - i did not see a unimofos

Lowtax - You must be running an older version of Windows 98. The newer, SSI / UIN AIM PAKCHOOIE version supports MoFos, the older one doesn't. Hmmm, this makes it more difficult to get you up and running since you don't have much experience hacking like I do

PiKe - ya the old one

PiKe - but why do i have to have my unimofos

Lowtax - It makes it alot easier to secure a SLIP/NOTCH connection to an unprotected client vortex / voxel module. What about YOUARES / TUPID? Do you have that installed? It should've come with a Win98 auto-download patch.

PiKe - i don't know this windows is a copy of the first v.

Lowtax - Oh, okay. ****, somebody just pinged my winnuke, I gotta cycle accounts. ICQ me next time I'm available, ok?

PiKe - why oh come on find my on your next account

Lowtax - **** THE LEAGUE OF WOMEN VOTERS IS TRYING TO HAXoR ME

[sumdumguy]

that's a riot.. hehehehe

the league of women voters is trying to hax0r me.. lol.. too much

[cHiLiEd TiMMaY]

ROFL !
That made me chuckle !!
Can't believe they unplugged their modem too !!

[Gobi]

That was hilarious, thanks for the laugh

[qwerty_smith]

omg! brilliant! some of my favorites:
Fornication Allocation --> sounds dirty!
If you press every keyboard key at the same time, you also get some credit card numbers. --> neat trick
I'm nuking a couple people in Mexico --. arent we all? lol!
static variables? --> dont you love it when your variables arent variable?
and i can't find "unimofos" --> go figure
YOUARES / TUPID? --> i think this one sums it all up! to which he says "i dont know"
that was one of the best laughs i've had in a long time. thank you.
*sniff time to dry my eyes....

[JCHostingAdmin]

lmfao.. That was hilarious man.. Always funny sh*t from ValHallen. Thanks though man, I needed that!

[imaginedsanity]

I've read a few of those "socially engineered hackers" conversations with idiots before, but that was by far the funniest. Kudos to pike.

[lekt0r]

Very funny, indeed. I think I will read it again.

[Palemoon]

Ok now that I have gotten up off the floor and back in my chair from lauging I'm gonna go get UIN AIM PAKCHOOIE gawd, I needed a good laugh. ROFL again...thump

[Noia]

LOL, havn't laughed like that in a while, almost make you wish you where there.....
I'v acctualy been asked by ppl if I could hack thing's for them, It get's really anoying....but hey...

buh-bye for now, all the way from Norway .)

- Noia