September 5th, 2002, 03:20 AM
[Humor] If AOL was a city...
Swipped from: http://www.sotik.com/me/aol.htm
Frighteningly enough, while looking for something for work that no one should be forced to do...
If AOL was a City
- You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.
- You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.
- Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99.
- The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard.
- The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident.
- The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.
- If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us."
- Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "We're Sorry, This Store is Temporarily Unavailable"
- Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.
- You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation.
- You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sun-up.
- The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.
\"Windows has detected that a gnat has farted in the general vicinity. You must reboot for changes to take affect. Reboot now?\"
September 5th, 2002, 03:40 AM
If AOL was a city you would have to enter a password to get into your house just to find out that someone else is already in it reading your mail....
If AOL was a city you would get advertisements for tons of features, but youd have to live in a mansion to use them....
If AOL was a city your local library would have old doom 2 patches, some porn, and a viral copy of PkZip 2.04g...
If AOL was a city the playground would be locked so that the kiddies can not get out "for safety reasons," and then hordes of perverts & pedophiles are allowed in...
If AOL was a city community events would be periodically interrupted because of the speaker randomly flying out of the meeting hall and appearing several minutes later with some stupid comment about a Punt Monster...
If AOL was a city you'd send your kids to school for history, math, and science, but they'd wind up studying ph1shing, one-handed typing, and annoying acronyms...
If AOL was a city putting up controversial art in your home would result in the police bashing in your door, throwing your ass on the floor, and kicking the crap out of you while saying "Ya got two chances left, dickface. ROFLMAO LOL!!"