jokes from intruder... enjoyyyy
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Thread: jokes from intruder... enjoyyyy

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    534

    Talking jokes from intruder... enjoyyyy

    My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
    -Henny Youngman
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
    wrong.
    -Milton Berle
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
    "There's water in the carburetor." I asked her , "Where's the
    car?"
    She replied,"In the lake."
    -Henny Youngman
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
    -Henny Youngman

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You
    know, I was a fool when I married you."
    The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
    didn't notice."

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    When a man steals your wife, there is no better
    revenge than to let him keep her.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
    like to Interrupt her.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So
    I got myself two girlfriends.

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
    not to report it since the thief was spending much less
    than his wife did.

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is
    finished.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it
    cost to get married?"
    The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
    paying."
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
    Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
    happiness was until I got married; then it was too
    late.

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
    The next day he received a hundred letters.
    They all said the same : "You can have mine."

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
    millionaire."
    "And what was he before you married him?" asked the
    friend.
    "A billionaire." she replied,

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
    intelligence.
    Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


    ----------------------------------------------------------
    It's not true that married men live longer than single
    men. It only seems longer.

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was
    almost impossible.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
    through life Thinking they had no faults at all.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his
    wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find
    such a man.

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for
    whatever he wants,
    But his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
    The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay, give me a
    million dollars
    And beat me till I'm half dead."

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for
    marriage.
    They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
    is to forget it once.

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
    Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.
    A laptop, internet connection and beer.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    310
    Good post.The last jokes the best in my opinion.
    [shadow]I don\'t believe in anarchy.If you\'re not smart enough to beat the system it\'s your problem. [/shadow]


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