September 17th, 2002, 01:42 AM
I'm sure some of y'all have seen this before, but the current thread about the W32 Winux virus reminded me of this....
If Microsoft ever takes over the Linux operating system:
1. You will be able to download the Winux operating system for free, but your credit card will be billed $3.00 each time you boot up your computer.
(Your account will be updated each time you connect to the Internet.)
2. The Microsoft Winux installation package will be 12 times the size of the latest Red Hat Linux release, and will take 14 hours to install with user interaction required every 5 minutes.
3. The buzzwords "Red Hat" would be replaced by a simpler buzzword: "Redmond".
(Note: Microsoft is based in Redmond, WA.)
4. Open source ? Think again. The OS kernel will be codenamed "Fort Knox".
5. The only thing "open" about Winux will be "your" personal information stored on your computer. Microsoft Winux will gather all of the personal information that it can find, and will distribute this information to all of Microsoft's business "partners".
(A Microsoft company spokesperson will later deny this in court.)
6. The only GNOME will be a stone statue in your garden.
7. The Star Office suite will be replaced by Microsoft Worx, which will be a hacked-up version of Microsoft Works for Windows 3.1 .
8. The Apache web server will only run on Winux NT servers.
(The Winux NT operating system will be different from standard Winux, and will be ten times more difficult to install.)
9. Microsoft Internet Explorer for Winux will no longer include a place to type in your desired destination URL. You will only be able to click on the links at "http://winux.msn.com" .
10. The Winux OS package will include Microsoft Outloox to "help" you manage your schedule. If Outloox determines that you are within one hour of the scheduled completion date and time for the project you are currently working on, it will automatically perform a lengthy disk surface scan and defragmentation operation which will take two hours to complete. This will help your system to be more "efficient".
11. Customer technical support ? Fat chance. Your odds of talking to an actual living person, at Microsoft's Winux Tech Support Center, would be roughly equivalent to those of being kicked by a unicorn in your living room.
12. Winux 2000 will be ready by the year 2007.
Written by G.P.Spencer (c)
\"Now it\'s time to erase the story of our bogus fate. Our history as it\'s portrayed is just a recipe for hate!\"
September 17th, 2002, 03:30 AM
You shouldn't have posted this, Doctor. You really shouldn't have done it. What if somebody from Redmond reads it and likes the idea? M$ has 90% or so of the computers in the world in their pocket now. That isn't enough for them. They want the whole pie.
September 17th, 2002, 04:56 AM
i hope your not serious :-\