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December 6th, 2002, 10:08 AM
#1
Computer Acronyms
SOME COMMON COMPUTER ACRONYMS (and what they really mean)
PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity
SCSI: System Can't See It
DOS: Defective Operating System
DOS-II: Same as above, but we tried to fix it and the new version doesn't work any better than the old one.
BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
DEC: Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM: Consumer Device--Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
WWW: World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
and, best of all:
DOT-COM: Definitely Over Time--Completely Out of Money.
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i also found this so instead of posting again im just adding it here, enjoy.
Hello, Can't Crash Computers, may I help you?
Yes. Please transfer me to your legal department.
I'm afraid our attorney isn't here in the store, can I help you with something?
You better. I'm going to be sending you my hospital bill and you have to replace the monitor for my computer.
What happened, sir?
I was using the Internet while I was taking a bath.
In the bath?
I had a table in the bathroom. But the mouse fell in the water and when I went to get it, the monitor cable got tangled up. It fell in too and I got terribly shocked!
And you want us to pay for it?
Just get me in touch with your legal people. They'll handle it.
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You know your co-worker is a hacker when...
-Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.
-Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.
-When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.
-Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
-Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.
-Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The Net."
-Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.
-Their video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.
-Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good Morning, Mr./Mrs. President."
-You hear them murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA card now, Professor "I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"
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December 6th, 2002, 11:01 AM
#2
Junior Member
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December 6th, 2002, 12:19 PM
#3
Member
buying M$ OS is like ordering a soup where u gotta pay extra for the bowl and spoon....and each time u order something new u gotta pay a huge amount for a new table!!!
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