September 25th, 2002, 02:30 PM
-Brought to you by The Shark Tank
Just a little humor to get you over the hump of the week, and yes hump day means Wednesday. Just to clear that up for a couple individuals.
-True tales of the IT LIFE…
Hey, Get a Room!
Furious boss tells IT pilot fish to find out what’s wrong with office admin’s computer. Office admin schedules all conference rooms, but she isn’t receiving boss’s e-mailed request, so his meetings don’t get a room. Fish spots the problem when he’s forwarded copies of boss’s messages. “Turns out he doesn’t know how to use the address book, so he’s hand-typing her e-mail address every time. “And misspelling it.”
Reports at this manufacturing plant are printed each night on an old ribbon printer. But why are you requesting five-part forms? Pilot fish at headquarters asks user. You probably can’t even print through that many sheets of paper. “Well, the ribbon broke a while back,” says user. “And it really isn’t a bother to peel off and discard the top copy.”
There’s a malfunction at this highly computerized lumber mill, damaging both the automation controls and the system that tracks downtime. “When I started to repair the automation system so the machine would restart, I was reprimanded,” says IT pilot fish. “Management preferred to have me fix the downtime tracking system first.” Result: Mill now has highly accurate records of the worst downtime in the company.
“If I have e-mail, no one’s told me about it,” automobile dealership sales manager grumbles to his boss. You spent hours learning it yesterday, pilot fish boss reminds him. “That was e-mail?” says sales manager. “How am I supposed to remember all that? What does that have to do with selling cars, anyway? Nobody uses that.”
“My machine just doesn’t look right,” user tells IT pilot fish. No wonder, says fish – there’s no driver for your video card. Why did you remove the program called “Diamond Stealth III?” User replies, “I didn’t like the idea of something called ‘Stealth’ on my PC.”
Programmer pilot fish has just finished automating a key monthly financial report – now it’s produced in hours, not weeks. Next, his junior VP boss asks him to change the job titles in the report from senior and junior VP to executive VP and VP. “What kind of knucklehead requested such a meaningless change when so many important processes need to be revised?” grumps fish. I did, replies boss, “That was the last time I was called to discuss proposed changes in person.”
I hope this helps your week go by a little smoother. – Tek Weasel
September 27th, 2002, 06:56 PM
lol, what's up with calling techies fish? heh, that's pretty humorous reading.