GNOME and what it REALLY stands for.
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Thread: GNOME and what it REALLY stands for.

  1. #1
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    GNOME and what it REALLY stands for.

    The following was written by me when I was very bored, not under any kind of influence. That fact may lead people to believe I'm out of it and I may have to agree. I'm sure this has been done before but oh well. Either way read and enjoy.

    GNOME... the linux desktop environment that many people use worldwide. And I bet you thought it stood for GNU Network Object Model Environment...

    In actuality it is talking about the little gnomes that run your computer, that's right, it's not electricity. The only reason your computer turns off when you unplug it is because the lights go off so the gnomes can't see what they're doing.

    Your hard drive is really full of little gnomes who remember one bit of information, just imagine the technology it took to get enough gnomes in there to have an 80GB hard drive! Now that's impressive...

    Sound card? Many gnomes with sound effect gear do that, just screaming their little heads off. That's why every now and then your sound goes, because they get hoarse.

    The video card is just many little gnomes with telephones who tell the gnomes in the monitor what to do. We'll get to the monitor later but now you know why your video card will stop working, when all the gnomes get too stressed to work and take a smoke break.

    Now we can talk about the monitor, there are many little gnomes flipping flashlights on and off. Now these flashlights are powered by the wall so that's why they don't work when you unplug it, I mean can you imagine the batteries they would need? And all these little gnomes run around changing colour filters so you see things properly.

    The cd-rom? Wanna know what "52x" really stands for? It's the number of gnomes running around and reading the cd for you. The older ones they used to run around, the new fast ones they have cars. And lets think about dvd's, ever since they gave the little buggers better cars the possibilities have been endless. But we can't forget about burners now can we? In these little devices the gnomes have laser pointers, go figure, and they do the job for you. The reason they stop burning sooner than cd-rom's stop reading is because the battery life on the laser pointers isn't all that great.

    I think the best part is the CPU, I mean, that many gnomes doing all those calculations, in such a crowded place, it's a wonder that they last as long as they do. That's why when you have your computer running for a long time they get tired and your performance slows down. If you keep the stress off them then they take breathers and the work goes much smoother.

    And last but certainly not least, is the internet. So many gnomes that you don't want to count. They just run and run and run. The type of modem you buy will determine the quality of cars they have to drive to wherever the information is. So on the old 9600's they were using chevettes or something like that and in your modern day "fiber optic" connection they're driving fully modified cars that have over 1000 hp. Now you know why the internet can get slow when there are lots of people using it, that many cars, it can get like rush hour in those network cables.

    Well now you all know the little secret about how computers "really" work. And no you won't ever come across these little gnomes because they can't breathe our air. They live in the wires so that they never breathe it. If they do they just evaporate, this is a very good reason not to go pulling your stuff apart, because without the gnomes, where would we be? And for the love of bob, don't tell too many people about it, or the gnomes might just stop working and then we'd be in a lot of trouble.
    Reality is the one who has it wrong, not you

  2. #2
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    not too bad, so long as theres no ripping on linux intended (dont think there was anyway), the foot icon for the 'start' menu could probly be worked in there somehow

    "when you click the foot icon, a whole heap of gnomes jump up and down to spring the menu's up for you"

  3. #3
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    No no, I like linux, nothing against it. The foot thing doesn't really fit with the way I wrote it, all the gnomes are in the hardware you see, they are physical little people. And yes I realise that makes me sound even more out to lunch.
    Reality is the one who has it wrong, not you

  4. #4
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    i think you may be mistaken. it appears to be done with smoke magic. once you let the smoke escape you can't ever get it to work again. the smoke may however be help captive by gnomes.
    Bukhari:V3B48N826 “The Prophet said, ‘Isn’t the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?’ The women said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is because of the deficiency of a woman’s mind.’”

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