October 2nd, 2002, 06:13 AM
In Honor of Negative
In Honor of Negative.
I have to say that im in awe of Negative. English is not his native language. Ever time I remember this fact im amazed. Really. Im not poking any fun. He’s even gotten our slang down pat. But this like everything in life reminds me of a story. So in honor of neg. I give you the Polish Professor.
A young man at the university of Warsaw dedicates all of his time to the study of English Literature, gets his professorship and applies for and gets a position at Columbia University mid-town campus in New York.
Upon landing at Kennedy Airport he rushs to the customer service booth to inquire about which bus he should take to mid-town Manhattan.
The person behind the counter replies to his question, “Oh your from Poland! Welcome to New York! Just go right outside the main door. You’ll see signs telling you where to wait for each of the different busses, you’ll want to take the 141.”
The man, startled by the agents response says, “Well thank you very much, but how could you tell I’m from Poland? I do speak perfect English.”
“Yes you do Sir, but your accent is unmistakably Polish.”
This greatly upsets the professor. On the way to his quarters he stops and buys 2 tape recorders then walks around the area taping local conversations. He spends the next two weeks locked in his room, taping then listening to himself, over and over again. Comparing his pronunciations to those in the conversations he's recorded. This he does until he is absolutely certain that no one can distinguish his accent from any other New Yorker’s.
Satisfied, he joyfully leaves his quarters and goes to the corner store. Says in his best staccato New York accent, “Id like a loaf a bread, …half pound a boiled ham and ahh.. quarter pound a Swiss.”
The man behind the counter says, “Your Polish, ain’t ya?”
The Pollock goes ballistic and begins shouting, “Sir, how can you possibly tell I’m Polish. My English is perfect, I have all the localisms mastered and my accent is pure Manhattan. There is positively no way you could discern my nationality from the way I speak.
The man behind the counter just look at him and says, “Buddy… this is a hardware store!”
BTW Im of polish ancestry so no flames please. i hope this just makes you laugh
Bukhari:V3B48N826 “The Prophet said, ‘Isn’t the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?’ The women said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is because of the deficiency of a woman’s mind.’”
October 2nd, 2002, 07:37 AM
Uuuuhmmm, yeah. Try to remember a story when I tell you "I'm dutch". And don't give me any drug stories.
Greetz & Respect
October 2nd, 2002, 11:19 AM
HAHA! Thank you, needed a little "hump-day" humor. I'm not exactly with the dutch though SickDwarf . Anyways, thanks again, and hopefully there will be other funny jokes today and on mondays. Sorry, I'm still laughing at this, HAHA!