Role of the Contractor
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  1. #1
    Senior Member geepod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002

    Role of the Contractor

    remember Sunscreen from Baz lurman ?
    Well check this out ( i can definately identify with it)

    Become an IT Contractor ...
    An alternative version of Wear Sunscreen ....

    Everyone has the right to rip people off. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, contracting would be it. The long-term benefits of contracting have been consistently misunderstood by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own 9-5 experience.

    I will dispense this advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your ability to seem competent. Oh, never mind.

    You will not understand the power and beauty of the ability to seem competent until it's faded.

    But trust me, in 5 years, you'll look back at timesheets you wrote and marvel at your ability to make up work, piss off permanent employees and how much fun it really was.

    You are not as greedy as you imagine.

    Don't worry about where the next contract is coming from. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as pretending you have some technical ability.

    The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your greedy mind, like the realisation there will only be one Year 2000 on some idle Tuesday.

    Increase your hourly rate every day to a level that scares someone.

    Program badly.
    Be reckless when writing code for other people.
    Don't put up with people who know what they're doing.

    Don't waste your time on technical facts. Sometimes you're ahead, Sometimes you're behind.
    The race is long and, in the end, it's your pocket that is bulging.

    Make up contracts you received.
    Forget the disasters.
    If you succeed in doing this, become a Consultant. Keep your old timesheets.
    Throw away your code.

    Steal code. Don't feel guilty if you steal someone else code. The most wealthy people I knew at 22 don't know how to Program. Some of the richest 40-year-olds steal other peoples GUIs..

    Get plenty of contracts. Be kind to your employer. You'll miss them when they're gone bust.

    Maybe it'll compile, maybe it won't. Maybe you'll pay tax, maybe you won't.
    Maybe you'll own 6 cars, 10 PCs and still be technically brain-dead on your 35th birthday.

    Whatever you do, congratulate yourself far too much and pretend to be a guru.
    Your choices are totally money influenced. So are everybody else's.

    Enjoy someone else's wallet.
    Use it every way you can.
    Don't be afraid of it or of what you can suck from it It's probably the only time you're happy.

    Secretly ask for stock options, even if you don't deserve them.
    Tell the permanent employees you got them.

    Do not read programming magazines, they just confirm you're stupid.

    Get to know your employer.
    You never know when you'll have to tap them for some more cash.

    Be nice to your accountant.
    They're your best bet to avoiding tax.

    Understand that contracts come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.
    Work hard to prolong and extend theses contract, because the older you get, the harder it will be to tell bare faced lies.

    Write in VB once, but stop before it makes you a ponce.
    Write in COBOL once, but stop before you crack up.

    Kiss ass.
    Accept certain inalienable truths: Hourly rates will rise. Permanent employees will hate you.
    You too will be shown up by a 22 year old geek.

    And when you do, you'll fantasise that when you wrote a line of code, it compiled, you could understand it, "Hello world" linked and ran

    Kill that f**king geek.

    Don't expect anyone else to fill in your timesheet..

    Maybe all good programmers are to busy writing documentation. Maybe you're employer is desperate. But you never know when either one might might wake up and smell the coffee.

    Object Oriented software is a form of rip-off.
    Dispensing it is a way of prolonging contracts and charging more, ensuring a constant cash flow, painting over the **** code and re-selling it for more than it's worth.

    But trust me on the contracting.
    Our destiny is to endure all hardships that we encounter along the path to what we perceive to be true and worthwhile !

    The Head foundation
    Please give generously

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    \"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.\"
    Sir Winston Churchill.

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