27 Intresting Things...
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  1. #1

    Talking 27 Intresting Things...

    27 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In The Movies...

    1. Word processors never display a cursor.
    2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
    3. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
    4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
    5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
    6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
    7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.
    8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
    9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. .
    10. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.
    11. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. 12. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)
    13. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
    14. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
    15. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
    16. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
    17. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
    18. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file - and there are no undelete utilities.
    19. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.
    20. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. 21. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
    22. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.
    23. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
    24. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP [darn fast freon-cooled computer that uses enough power to light a small city].
    25. Whenever a character looks at a VDU [Video Display Unit], the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.
    25. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
    27. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.

    More coming soon....

  2. #2
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    Jun 2002
    28. most safes and bank vaults that have a computer programmed locking mechanism, with a keypad to enter the 'code', are programmed to unlock the vault when the outer case of the keypad is breached with a bullet or any such propelled object. see #11, 12
    29. there is always a pannel to gain access to the wires attached to the back of any given keypad.
    30. no matter how strong the 'code' is for any such door, the entire unlocking program is held in the keypad and so, assuming #29 true, it is also possible to gain access to the vault by bypassing the keypad and directly connecting two wires.
    Hmm...theres something a little peculiar here. Oh i see what it is! the sentence is talking about itself! do you see that? what do you mean? sentences can\'t talk! No, but they REFER to things, and this one refers directly-unambigeously-unmistakably-to the very sentence which it is!

  3. #3
    Senior Member SodaMoca5's Avatar
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    Mar 2002
    Addendum to 7 This includes alien computers too

    31 All true hackers use Apple Laptops
    32 Secret information is never stored on normal media but on small cd's or special crystals
    33 It is easy to make detailed 3-D graphics with just a couple of keystrokes
    34 Programmers do not make typo's even when they are typing very fast
    35 (I read this somewhere) All monitors are so powerful that their content is reflected off the face of the user
    36 Computer AI is able to control vast conspiracies but cannot outwit children under 15.
    37 Any liquid spilled on a computer, even the keyboard, is certain to set up a tremendous electrical explosion as 3.3v boards are overloaded into nuclear sized explosions
    38 All biometric security systems can be easily duped with thin rubber fake fingerprints
    39 Computer Security X-ray systems see bones and guns but not belt buckles, change, rings, or other metal apparel.
    40 DoD computers are never secure against script kiddies who are sure to stumble onto the most sensitive data available at the time.
    \"We are pressing through the sphincter of assholiness\"

  4. #4
    Leftie Linux Lover the_JinX's Avatar
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    Nov 2001
    Beverwijk Netherlands

    Re: 27 Intresting Things...

    Great post ii-monk

    Originally posted here by ii-monk
    27 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In The Movies...

    18. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file - and there are no undelete utilities.
    I agree with this one beeing true (now) for the part I understand it.

    If I'd open a folder in konqueror (KDE's version of explorer) and someone was to delete a file in that folder (even via ssh and stuff) the file WILL disapear from my sr\creen within (pollingtime is adjustable in 3.1 i read) 2 seconds.

    ????? There are no ways to copy a backup file ?????
    enlighten me..

    There are no good undelete utilities for linux/unix I know of.
    ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
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