October 24th, 2002, 05:53 AM
Name that virus
Name That Virus
The AL GORE virus: causes your computer to just keep counting.
The CLINTON virus: gives you a 7-inch hard drive with NO memory.
The BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus: makes a new hard drive out of an old
The LEWINSKY virus: sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-
everyone about what it did.
The RONALD REAGAN virus: saves your data, but forgets where it is
The JESSE JACKSON virus: warns you constantly about illegitimate file
reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
The MIKE TYSON virus: quits after two bytes.
The OPRAH WINFREY virus: your 300 MB hard drive shrinks to 100 MB, then
slowly expands to restabilize around 200 MB.
The JACK KEVORKIAN virus: deletes all old files.
The PROZAC virus: totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't
The JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus: only attacks minor files.
The ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus: terminates some files, leaves, but will
and last but not least ...
The LORENA BOBBITT virus: reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch
then discards it through Windows
\"Nuts!\"- Commanding General 101st Airborne Division Dec 1944 in answer to German request that he surrender Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge
Life has a certian flavor for those who have fought and risked it all that the sheltered and protected can never experience.- John Stewart Mill
White, Hetrosexual, Christian male. I own guns, hunt, eat meat, burn wood, and my wife wears fur... Any questions?
October 24th, 2002, 06:39 AM
Where's the Bush virus? Where it hogs all system resources for itself, and leaves nothing for other processes
\"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.\" -- Dom Helder Camara
October 24th, 2002, 07:28 AM
i just made this up and thought id add it:
the condom virus: protects you from other viruses but makes you feel like your keyboard and mouse are made of rubber making it difficult to type.
must be deleted before you can add another harddrive.
October 24th, 2002, 09:22 AM
What about the Bill Gates virus, almost everybody has it. This makes you feel really BAD.
This virus generatez a lot of trouble and blue screenz
October 24th, 2002, 11:22 AM
The Democratic Party Virus->Attaches itself to the majority of files in your computer,but a flaw in the design causes it to constantly conflict with itself during attempted operation rendering it useless.
[shadow]I don\'t believe in anarchy.If you\'re not smart enough to beat the system it\'s your problem.
October 24th, 2002, 01:02 PM
the bill gates virus(windows) : the slowest virus available......hogs too much memory.......and makes u smash yr head on the bsod.........
buying M$ OS is like ordering a soup where u gotta pay extra for the bowl and spoon....and each time u order something new u gotta pay a huge amount for a new table!!!
October 24th, 2002, 07:38 PM