October 25th, 2002, 03:45 AM
31 Signs Technology Has Take Over Your Life
31 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life:
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead
. 2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number.
10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
11. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-)
13. You back up your data every day.
14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse.
15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
17. The thought that CD could refer to investment finance or music rarely enters your mind.
18. You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.
19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. However, you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names.
20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling.
22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-quarter and three-and-a-half inch sizes.
23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.
24. You own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers and you actually know where they are.
25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.
26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better: the track ball or the track pad.
30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.
\"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.\"
-Albert Einstein \"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.\"
October 25th, 2002, 03:59 AM
OMG...roflmao..... /me reads these and realises that i need to lie under a tree and write a haiku (without a laptop) LOL Good post!
M$ support is like shooting yourself in the left foot and then putting a band-aid on the right one.
October 25th, 2002, 04:18 AM
October 25th, 2002, 04:29 AM
well im off to find a tree to write under.......
what is love but contempt for hate?
October 25th, 2002, 05:56 AM
now...where was that tree i was hiding behind earlier...i hope nobody has blown it up or shot it up too much...oh ya...that was a cg tree
does the tree have to be OUTSIDE??? with the big lcd screen with a cloud screensaver on it...
does it have to be a WOODEN tree or can it be a tree coming from a projector???
I did not come here to tell you how it is going to end, I came here to tell you how it was going to begin. I\'m going to hang up this phone, then I\'m going to tell these people what you don\'t want them to hear.
October 25th, 2002, 10:25 AM
Lol, I had already posted the adress for this in irc before I read number 31, I think I should go outside and sit under a tree as well!
October 25th, 2002, 08:27 PM
What is a tree, Haiku and how do you write without a laptop?
\"We are pressing through the sphincter of assholiness\"
October 25th, 2002, 10:14 PM
trees are the base material for the packing that some manufacturers use to ship their computers in
Bukhari:V3B48N826 “The Prophet said, ‘Isn’t the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?’ The women said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is because of the deficiency of a woman’s mind.’”
October 25th, 2002, 10:21 PM
Is there anyone here who know's the number to some serious psychiatric help? Why do these things ACTUALLY happen to me? I'm seriously addicted, and if computers hasn't taken over my life..
October 26th, 2002, 03:56 PM
Tree, it's future paper to print out that ladder ranking ....
then you start looking up at the sky and serach for telco satellite ....
anyways i need to leave the keyboard and get back to my house...
assembly.... digital dna ?