Mental Hospital Answering Machine
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Mental Hospital Answering Machine

  1. #1
    IT Specialist Ghost_25inf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001

    Mental Hospital Answering Machine

    Subject: Fwd: Answering Machine at a Mental Hospital

    Answering Machine at a Mental Hospital...

    "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
    line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
    mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
    you which number to press.

    If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
    no one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
    representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
    number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y &
    c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
    before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy
    to talk to you.

    If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan,lay down & cry. You
    won't be crazy forever.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    HAHAHAHA good one.
    [gloworange]I pLaY mY eNeMyS lIkE a ChEsS.[/gloworange]

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    That made my morning
    Ron Paul: Hope for America

  4. #4
    Developer Extraordinar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Hahaha, Thanks. That cheered me up after a so-so reportcard! I love jokes. Message to everyone: Post more jokes!
    Come to

  5. #5
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002


    haha, thats awesome, iv heard something like that before but its soo funny!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    hahaha god jokes

    opppss good jokes

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts