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Thread: Man burns penis with laptop

  1. #1

    Talking Man burns penis with laptop

    Originally posted here.

    Man burns penis with laptop

    And now for proof that some laptops run hotter than a badger. A 50-year old scientist, previously healthy, burned his penis after placing his laptop on his, err lap, for an hour. Oh, he was fully dressed in trousers and underpants, according to this letter printed in the Lancet, the UK's best-known medical journal. (reg req'd, free.)

    The following is not for the squeamish:

    The next day he noticed irritation and oedema of his penile prepuce. Furthermore, the ventral part of his scrotal skin had turned red, and there was a blister with a diameter of about 2 cm. These findings were verified when I saw the patient 1 day later. There were no signs of phimosis or balanitis. The patient recalled that, while sitting 2 days earlier with his computer on his lap, he occasionally had felt heat and a burning feeling on his lap and proximal thigh, a sensation that was relieved at least temporarily when the computer was moved slightly.

    After the first 2 days, the penile and scrotal blisters broke and developed into infected wounds that caused extensive suppuration. More than a week later, the wounds were covered by dry crusts and thereafter were healing quite rapidly. No antibiotic treatment was needed.

    Thank goodness. The Register is happy that the patient was in such able hands, but disappointed in the lack of technical detail in Claes-Goran Ostenson's report. What was the make of laptop*? Did it have a desktop chip in it? Roll on Banias.

    The unnamed laptop maimer may have to change the caveats in its instruction manual. Ostenson notes the branding iron firm's safety instructions:

    Do not allow your portable computer to operate with the base resting directly on exposed skin. With extended operation, heat can potentially build up in the base. Allowing sustained contact with the skin could cause discomfort or, eventually, a burn."

    Don't trousers and underpants count?

    The 50 year-old scientist has learned a lesson, although we're not sure what. And we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs (they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece .

    That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.

    "Bryan, my cyberboyfriend, was in a lot of ways, my PowerMac G3, webcam and telephone," Mark wrote on his website. "He literally lived inside of this machine ... that I myself could control like a light switch. The perfect boyfriend."


    *Reg Reader Peter Dudek of Switzerland writes:

    Just thought I'd mention that by doing a google search with "Do not allow your portable computer to operate with the base resting directly on exposed skin. With extended operation, heat can potentially build up in the base. Allowing sustained contact with the skin could cause discomfort or, eventually, a burn" as the search string, I believe, reveals the mystery laptop brand.

    It's a Dell Latitude. The search pulls up a support website from support.jp.dell.com, that has, essentially, the exact same warning in the
    "User's Guide".

    Related stories:
    Man forced to withdraw penis from eBay
    Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice
    Penis too big? Click here
    “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #2
    AO Curmudgeon rcgreen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Oh well, he probably doesn't need that thing anyway...

    .. the laptop I mean, what did you think I meant?
    I came in to the world with nothing. I still have most of it.

  3. #3
    () \/V |\| 3 |) |3\/ |\|3G47|\/3
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    My laptop recently put a crack in the kitchen table!
    ....better the kitchen table than.....well, you know.

    Go Finland!
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  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    I laughed so hard when I read this at The Register.

    I expected the laptop to be a Macintosh because PowerBooks get toasty. I had to buy a wire rack to keep it off of my desk so that it wouldn't get so damned hot. Well that and it needed to be like 4-6 inches higher to put the screen in a more confortable position for me.

    This is the reason why the Transmeta chips sounded so exciting..., low power, low heat, but unfortunately low mhz and lower performance than expected.

    You'd think that the lap portion of the word laptop would imply that one would be able to rest it there, maybe we should start calling them portables again, and reminisce about those 30-40 pound boat anchors...


  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    coolllllll.........you make my day LOL....
    Not an image or image does not exist!
    Not an image or image does not exist!

  6. #6
    Disgruntled Postal Worker fourdc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Vermont, USA
    Or the laptop story was a coverup for some other illicit activity.

    Judging by reactions of that anatomical feature to hot and cold, I can't imagine how this guy managed it.

    "Somehow saying I told you so just doesn't cover it" Will Smith in I, Robot

  7. #7
    Now, RFC Compliant! Noia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    it seem's just a tad bit un-true, you'd think he'd notice someting like that...given that the penis is VERY sensetive to tempratures....wierd......

    - Noia
    With all the subtlety of an artillery barrage / Follow blindly, for the true path is sketchy at best. .:Bring OS X to x86!:.
    Og ingen kan minnast dei linne drag i dronningas andlet den fagre dag Då landet her kvilte i heilag fred og alle hadde kjærleik å elske med.

  8. #8
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    yea to get a burn like that.... thats like saying, hey guys today i stuck my wang in a deep fryer but didnt notice till the next day wen the thing was ready to serve and crispy, im starting to really wonder....50 years old sitting home alone with his laptop *full body shiver* eww well, then again, maybe he got cold and was resting it on the battery and it leaked on it....still seems like he did more than what hes saying.

  9. #9
    Old ancient one vanman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Freestate,South Africa
    Guys with that amount of heat at the organ in question it shouldn’t it have lifted off automatically if any form of life was still present…..lol(just joking)
    Practise what you preach.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Zorolord's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    I reckon this guy was getting jiggy with his laptop, the same old story of it accidentally got burned or stuck there - sad, funny and very weird.

    He was probably trying to create some sort of interactive sex machine/program ? All in the name of science of course lol

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