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Thread: Computer Acronyms

  1. #1
    Senior Member gore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002

    Computer Acronyms

    SOME COMMON COMPUTER ACRONYMS (and what they really mean)

    PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

    ISDN: It Still Does Nothing

    APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity

    SCSI: System Can't See It

    DOS: Defective Operating System

    DOS-II: Same as above, but we tried to fix it and the new version doesn't work any better than the old one.

    BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

    IBM: I Blame Microsoft

    DEC: Do Expect Cuts

    CD-ROM: Consumer Device--Rendered Obsolete in Months

    OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too

    WWW: World Wide Wait

    MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

    PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

    COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

    AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

    LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

    MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

    WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

    MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

    and, best of all:

    DOT-COM: Definitely Over Time--Completely Out of Money.
    i also found this so instead of posting again im just adding it here, enjoy.

    Hello, Can't Crash Computers, may I help you?

    Yes. Please transfer me to your legal department.

    I'm afraid our attorney isn't here in the store, can I help you with something?

    You better. I'm going to be sending you my hospital bill and you have to replace the monitor for my computer.

    What happened, sir?

    I was using the Internet while I was taking a bath.

    In the bath?

    I had a table in the bathroom. But the mouse fell in the water and when I went to get it, the monitor cable got tangled up. It fell in too and I got terribly shocked!

    And you want us to pay for it?

    Just get me in touch with your legal people. They'll handle it.
    You know your co-worker is a hacker when...

    -Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.
    -Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.
    -When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.
    -Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
    -Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.
    -Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The Net."
    -Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.
    -Their video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.
    -Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good Morning, Mr./Mrs. President."
    -You hear them murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA card now, Professor "I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    very good

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    buying M$ OS is like ordering a soup where u gotta pay extra for the bowl and spoon....and each time u order something new u gotta pay a huge amount for a new table!!!

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